Vicki started off Season 5 in a big way -- preparing to die. Or at least that's what she thought would happen when she went skydiving. After a torrent of tears and hyperventilating, Vicki finally took the plunge and survived! But our ear drums didn't.
Tamra and Gretchen will always find something to bicker about, and it was no different when the two collided in an OC catfight catastrophe over dinner at the St. Regis. What were the two firecrackers fighting about THIS time? It had something to do with dirty internet pixxxs of Gretchen "sticking vibraters up her vajayjay," or maybe that Tamra was a "whore and losing her house," or maybe something about Slade making Tamra's skin crawl...whatever it was, it was internse.
Tamra and Gretchen will always find something to bicker about, and it was no different when the two collided in an OC catfight catastrophe at the St. Regis. What were the two firecrackers fighting about THIS time? Dirty internet pixxxs of Gretchen "sticking vibrators up her vajayjay," Tamra being a "whore" and allegedly losing her house, Slade making Tamra's skin crawl, Gretchen being a "fu**ing victim," ... so, you know, the usual things that come between friends.
It's one thing for a Housewife to love her husband, it's another to call him a god. When Alexis described Jim as godly, even Gretchen looked a little perplexed.
After years of searching for the fountain of youth, Lynne stumbled upon the next best thing: Dr. Ambe's plastic surgery chop shop. Watching the procedure and the facelift reveal was almost a little TOO 'real.'
Vicki decided to whisk Donn away for a romantic vacation in Turks & Caicos, complete with a refurbished wedding band (new bling!) and a vow renewal ceremony! After all the divorce threats this season, it was nice to see one OC couple survive the test of time (and reality TV).
Ousted Housewife Jeana Keough thought she was leaving behind the wives and "all of their drama," but she had another thing coming. At a sleepover party (yes, a sleepover party) the five remaining Housewives plotted their revenge, and Jeana awoke the next morning to find her house and yard decorated in toilet paper.
NO ONE messes with Alexis Bellino's man. Or stands near her man. Or talks to her man. In fact if you want to keep both your eyes, don't risk a glance in Jim's general direction. One of Gretchen's party guests learned that lesson the hard way when she was caught shamelessly flirting with Alexis' hubby. Big mistake, babe.
Sure, it was probably the facelift post-op painkillers. But Lynne was especially loopy on the girls' safari trip. Well, the girls went to the safari. Lynne was visiting La La Land.
Vicki planned a lovely vacation for the ladies, with only one rule: NO BOYS ALLOWED. Simon, Jim, and Slade heard Vicki loud and clear, and decided to completely ignore her. Horror doesn't even begin to describe Vicki's expression when Slade waltzed into the hotel unannounced to surprise his best girl Gretch.
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Tamra tried to save her marriage by tattooing her husband's name on her ring finger. Unfortunately the tattoo lasted longer than the marriage.
Lynne had a lovely dinner party this season, where everyone fought and cried and stormed off and stormed back in and stormed out again yelling obscenities. Things got particularly heated when Alexis told the looong version of how she met Jim. The detailed account didn't go over well with Vicki, who rolled her eyes into the back of her head and pretended to fall asleep. Watch the moment here!
Lynne had a lovely dinner partuy, where the guests bickered and cried and cursed and stormed off and stormed back in and stormed out again and ate really delicious looking mini hamburgers. Yum! Things got particularly heated when Alexis recounted how she met Jim (the long version). The detailed account didn't go over well with Vicki, who rolled her eyes into the back of her head and pretended to fall asleep. Cue finger pointing, feet stomping, and a declaration from Vicki, "I hate those bi***es."
Mo' money, mo' problems. Or, as the Curtin family discovered, no money, no house. Lynne was evicted from her Laguna Beach pad, and it's hard being a Real Housewife if you don't have, you know, a HOUSE. Watch the moment here!
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The Housewives spend a fancy evening at a four-star restaurant, but try as they might, the OC ladies have a tough time keeping things classy. Case in point: Alexis tries a bite of Foie Gras, spits it everywhere, and then does some full body gags that almost make Vicki boot. Fine dining.
There's probably trouble in paradise when you have to ask your spouse to spice up a kiss with some tongue. The demise of Simon and Tamra's marriage was evident when the Housewife complained Simon's kisses were rather...chaste. The couple's gondola ride was the beginning of the end.
