"Slade is not getting compensated with a salary. He's getting compensated for his work in the bedroom." -Gretchen
9551961
"We're going to work during the day and at night we're going to hit it hard." -Vicki
9551966
"I think it takes strong survival skills to be a housewife in Orange County." -Peggy
9551971
"What does she need an assistant for? To hold Slade's balls?" -Tamra
9551976
"Leave it to Alexis who lives on like Jesus lane to be tying up Jim up on a chair." -Gretchen
9551981
"I work hard for my diamonds, I deserved that ring." -Alexis
9551986
"I am so naked." -Tamra
9551991
"Do I need vaginal rejuvenation?" -Tamra
9551996
"In Cabo do as the Cabonians do. Do body shots!" -Tamra
9554756
"Boobs are great no matter what. It's like pizza, there's no bad pizza." -Micah
9554761
"It just makes no sense to me that two people who love each other can't get married. Does it matter if they have a penis and a penis, or a vagina and a penis, or a vagina and a vagina and a penis...I mean who cares?" -Tamra
9554766
"Bring Vicki, but tell her to leave the gun at home." -Alexis
9554771
"After my party there is no way I'm going to be around Gretchen without some moral support. So I brought Vicki. And mace." -Tamra
9556916
"Next time I'll bring a dildo." -Tamra
9556921
"I don't know if Alexis is teaching James to be a great man, maybe his dad is?" -Peggy
9556926
"You can take the girl out of Orange County, but you cannot take the shopping whore out of me" -Tamra
9559711
"Did he just say blow jobs every night?" -Gretchen
9559716
"It was like the triple B's. Big boobs, big bling -- I was blinded. -Gretchen
9559721
"She's so far up Gretchen's ass that they're starting to metamorphose into each other." -Tamra
9562291
"What do I need to do, set myself on fire to meet the fireman?" -Vicki
9562296
"Jeana looks great, she just has a nasty soul." -Tamra
9562301
"I've had four kids, if I do jumping jacks I pee." -Tamra
9564671
"Getting Vicki's approval on anything is definitely like dealing with Joan Crawford. Keep the wire hangers away from her." -Tamra
9564676
"Don't show beef." -Tamra
9564681
"Holy flipping vaginas." -Vicki
9566791
"Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere else." -Tamra
9566796
"I'm a better education than going off to school." -Alexis
9566801
"It's my photo shoot, it has my name all over it. But I have to listen to him, he's my husband." -Alexis
9570536
"I don't care if you're scrubbing a toilet, you can still bling it up." -Alexis
9570541
"Whoever isn't producing is going to get a spanking." -Vicki
9570546
"We've got the strict Christian girl with the lesbian girl. What happens in Texas, stays in Texas." -Peggy
9570551
"Stick a huge piece of meat and go for a ride? No thanks. Oh wait, that does sound like fun!" -Gretchen
9571786
"I know it's a delicatessen in French." -Alexis
9571791
"Everybody's got a little pocket gay, it's like a little accessory. It's like a chihuahua now." -Tamra
9571796
"Don't get all worried for nothing, you'll get more wrinkles." -Lynne
