Heather: Et tu Ramona Singer?

Here we are sitting pretty on this stage -- divided by two couches -- and it's funny for me to watch Andy introduce us all. I really felt like, "Ya dat's right, we're New York City baby!" And I think the taglines this season were in keeping with the show. It's silly. And no matter what, people will either love your silly or hate it. In the beginning, I actually hated all of the taglines too (except for mine of course), but I came around because at the end of the day, they’re funny!

I mean can you believe "The Gordon's Fishermam," who was Carole's blind date, and the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" man (Fabio), were both on RHONY? We have fake fishermen, fantasy romance novel hunks, fake engagements, a promise not promised, and the baptism of a new girl -- who Aviva calls a rookie, nice. (What makes her an expert on reality personalities anyway?)

There's a lot I don't understand, but one thing I can tell you is that Aviva Drescher has more double standards than prosthetics. And what's shocking, she has no remorse at all. On the couch, as Kristen recaps the moment where Aviva so motherly drops the F-bomb, I notice one thing -- Aviva isn’t even listening. She is sitting there thinking about what to say. It's a game of chess to her. So here's her next move: Kristen is a rookie, and if she was as seasoned as Aviva, she would know that, "We normally don’t have confrontations when children are in scene." No. Checkmate there, Aviva. She fails to recognize she's the one who was out-of-line. Where does she come up with this sh--?

Oh no, wait! Et tou Singer? Liquid on liquid? It was a "hard molded plastic glass." How else do you say it? Among a slash and another double standard (grabbing someone's arm or throwing a hard plastic object), we have a revelation -- Ramona forgives. However, that doesn't mean she should expect others to forgive as easily. . .

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So then, onto blowies, threesomes, crying orgasms and long and short. . .gossip.

Bottom line, I'm inspired by people who stand up for what they believe in. Sure, it's devilish to have a laugh behind someone's back, and we've all done it, but you stop at the nervous giggle. You don't ignite the flame, and you don't create the gossip. It's just in poor style. On the one hand, we protect someone in the group -- like Ramona reminding Sonja that she's on national TV and has a daughter or supporting Aviva's father George (to a point). But then there's the morsel some find and can't wait to chew on, and spit it back, regurgitated into a larger form. It's that confrontation armed with the evidence. Gossip created, "the word on the street." Proof in prescriptions. Proof in "Harry lies," and a massive scandal. . .which it is not. It's having a job and not wanting to do the work. Do you notice how we all get physically stressed when Aviva speaks? It sucks..

Meanwhile. . .Sonja is planning our next trip. Can I get a lifeboat? Where are we? In the land of charming? No, we are not. Parts of the reality we are in are comical, and parts of it are totally frustrating, and that is real.

Lady Sonja J Morgan, however, is certainly charming. And she's funny and smart and a performer at heart. She's beautiful. Creative and sensitive. Sonja's totally free on the one hand and then wants to be private on the other. And while all of the before mentioned can be interesting qualities, when I am with Sonja, they are to the extreme. She puts on her "party personality," trying to be the comedian, victim, and business woman all at once. The Nigerian Football Team has to be my favorite of all -- but now she's a lifestyle expert? No, she's a house flipper. Will the real Sonja Morgan please stand up?

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By watching myself I've been able to uncover my co-dependent streak. We all have one and Sonja makes mine come alive. Sonja's been sucked-in and although I don't judge her, I do have an opinion and I think she should change the direction of her yacht.

Tune in next week for part 2 of The Real Housewives of New York City Reunion. And check out my new panties. . .why not?! Holla!

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