We open with Sonja getting an unexpected business consult. She's meeting with Kristen's man to discuss her many endeavors. Her outfit is all business, but Kristen has set out the chips to keep it real. We like that bend of business and pleasure -- even if Sonja wasn't really feeling the Tribeca apartment style.
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Josh starts with some questions about what the Sonja Morgan brand means. Sonja Morgan is merely the umbrella under which her many endeavors live -- but Josh thinks she needs to focus. Forget about everything and build a team -- because her team does not exist.
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Josh's advice to throw it out the window doesn't go over so well -- and neither does it comment that she's "f---ing bananas." That might explain why Kristen felt the energy was a little strange once she walked back in. Sonja's summary, what Josh calls problems aren't problems, but just "obstacles." She's going to keep playing the game her way -- for now.
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Meanwhile, Carole's living the L.A. lifestyle, hanging with her dog Margaret -- and getting broken up with before she even goes out with someone. That's right, before she even went on a date with this gent he gave her a big pass. Thankfully she's got her Cali friends to help her move on to the next option. . .
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At a dinner hosted by Heather, Ramona is forced to come face-to-face with Kristen for the first time since their spa spat. Ramona's plan is to avoid talking to Kristen as much as possible. Perhaps that's why she brought Mario and her "gusband" along, so she'd have double the conversation buffers.
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This is the face of a woman who desperately wants some other guests to arrive. Hurry fast Housewives! Kristen needs someone to make polite conversation with!
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Heather didn't just have the gang for dinner -- she's taking the girls away for the weekend. The husbands seemed to be more excited by the prospect of some alone time than others -- Jonathan is beaming pretty big.
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Ramona's not exactly thrilled to head to Berkshires. "No one vacations in the Berkshires. No one I know. No celebrities. No one famous. Everyone goes to the Hamptons." After figuring out where it is exactly though, she's ready to go -- as part of how well she's getting along with Heather.
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Heather explains that she didn't plan the vacation to purposefully fall on days that Aviva was busy. If she doesn't want you to come, she'll tell you right to your face. She just wishes Ramona would have done that for her Anniversary party and tonight with her "gusband."
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Josh starts talking about his sit down with Miss Morgan, and while some think that he asked the right questions, others think he went too far. In the Countess' words, "I don't think gentlemen should ever talk badly about a woman at a dinner table, it's bad form."
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Ramona came to Sonja's defense. She wanted that toaster oven! Don't diss her BFF, Josh.
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Carole decided to go to a matchmaker to help her in the dating scene. Why did she choose this one you ask? Something about a video of "hyenas f---ing" on his website spoke to her. (We think Kristen was a bit skeptical of his talents).
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The great matchmaker Richard Easton himself. He wants Carole to embrace her inner girly girl. In his own words, "Any woman with legs like yours should never wear pants." Hmm, sounds like he might be the match he'll be setting her up with.
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LuAnn had the wonderful idea of trying out anti-gravity yoga with Ramonja. We'll let Ramona's face explain her feelings about it -- or you can watch her explain her true feelings in more detail here.
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Even an anti-gravity yoga class can't get Ramona's mind off of the upcoming weekend in the Berkshires. Let's remember, she "became self-made to get away from the woods, not to go back to them." Somebody's definitely a city girl.
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The ladies are on their way to the Berkshires, with dreams of the Hamptons running through their heads. As if the Berkshires could get worse for Ramona, Heather drops this bomb: no A/C. What will our 'Wives do?! Order an air conditioner if you are Ramona Singer, because -- of course.
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Everyone arrives at Heather's Berkshire home, which is more like a garage according to Ramona. But Heather thinks it's at least "not tacky, unlike other people" she knows. It might be hot out, but there's definitely tension brewing in this home.
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Never tell Ramona Singer she can't have A/C. Yes, she actually had an air conditioner delivered to Heather's Berkshire home. Some of the other 'Wives thought it was inappropriate, some were just happy to see a cute delivery boy.
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The New York Wives decided to take a dip in the cool Berkshire ponds to escape the heat. But alas, there lies yet another struggle. Almost as bad as having no A/C, the ladies must take their own canoes down to the pond.
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Ramonja nominates "LuMan" to do most of the carrying since she's like a "linebacker" with her broad shoulders.
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The Housewives finally make it out to the pond where they are actually starting to come together in tranquility. Maybe it was the Pinot flowing, but even Ramona was having a good time -- as long as everyone stayed quiet.
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The ladies decided to go fishing while out on the sun filled pond. Carole even caught a trout! Meanwhile, Ramona was wishing that Heather had comfier canoes.
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When Kristen and Heather decided to go for a swim, it soon went awry. They heard Ramona talking about Kristen getting on her nerves and being a bystander. As Ramona put it, "you wouldn't even know she's there unless she's tall and pretty."
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Ramona then went on to discuss Josh "bashing" Sonja at the couples dinner -- which Carole and Sonja weren't at because they have no significant other. She couldn't understand why Kristen let her husband talk so poorly about her BF Sonja.
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But Sonja doesn't believe it. She thinks Ramona is the one that's "all over the place." She still getting over Ramona's infamous phone call to Ben's mother.
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That's when Kristen and Heather surprised the ladies with a splash attack. To say it was not well received is putting it lightly. In Ramona's words, "you know what Kristen, this is two for two now, you're a f---ing b---h."
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And then, it happened. Ramona got a little too Ramontional and threw her pinot (in a glass this time) at Kristen. And after she specifically asked not to have have it thrown in her face this time!
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But it wasn't all fun and games. Kristen's lip begins to bleed after the shocking blow from Ramona's wine glass. Good thing nurse LuAnn was there!
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Ramona doesn't understand what the big deal is, a bloody lip is just like a bloody nose. The episode concludes with her fleeing the scene saying, "Don't mess with me." We think Kristen got the message.
