And so we're back at LuAnn's Hamptons BBQ from heck, and Heather's had enough of Amanda Sanders interjecting and threats of decking. If you are going to deck Heather Thomson, stand up straight. If not get some pie and sit down.
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Heather didn't think Amanda made a great first impression -- and apparently neither did Carole. When Amanda tried to interject into her argument with Aviva, she gave her a side-eye beneath that fedora and simply said she didn't know her.
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And this is where Aviva tries to ply Amanda with promises of fruit tart and strong words. But all of the miniature pies in the world could not get the message across.
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There's nothing really to say about this image except, "Enjoy." LuAnn was so happy at the bar. Can't she just eat her cake and be left alone from this Amanda Sanders business?
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After Aviva's "well wisher toast" goes over less-than-perfectly (and Sonja peed her non-existent panties), Heather can't help but getting involved. The "femme fatale bodyguard" is in full effect.
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It's at this point that Heather broke out her full range of language. You can't tell Heather "anything mother f---er." Heather didn't respond to Aviva's question of if she learned it in prison or if she learned it from P.Diddy. Wherever it came from, the night disbanded pretty quickly after, and everyone left what Amanda affectionately referred to as "crazyville."
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The next morning, Sonja assembled the gang for a much calmer brunch, but apparently the food was a little too crunchy and she popped her tooth out mid-morning recap. Thankfully Harry wasn't around to see such antics, but a helpful party guest was on hand to recommend Polident (plus a legion of interns to reinsert the tooth).
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Sonja cuts straight to the "tooth" with Aviva -- the girls just aren't feeling you Vivs.
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Back in Manhattan, Carole has been crowned queen of the Mermaid Parade (an honor more illustrious than her Emmy). But what's a mermaid without some stylish scales, so she asks her gals to help her dress.
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Will this face mask impress Carole's new fans? Will Judah Friedlander be able to resist.
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Sonja tries to help Aviva relax with a "light laser" work. But no amount of face masks can stop them from talking about #BookGate. Sonja is shocked that Carole is dropping Aviva as a BFF and that Heather has gone full "guardian dog" about the whole situation. A guardian dog does sound pretty loyal though.
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And #BookGate was the hot topic at mermaid couture shopping as well -- even the clerk couldn't help but weigh in on who he was siding with.
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Heather is over Aviva's antics, and she'll break out the language again if need be.
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You may think Kristen is disgusted by all this ghostwriter talk, but she's just still recoiling from the idea of wearing a coconut bra.
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Aviva decides to have a drama-free day of arts and crafts with her kids. As long as no one paints a picture of a ghostwriter, this should be fine.
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Aviva springs on her hubby that her childhood friend Becky has reached out to her. Who's Becky you say? Oh she's just the gal that Aviva was with when her leg-losing accident occurred. And so Aviva and Reid decide to reconnect with Becky by going back to the barn where it all happened to try to create some closure.
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After lighting her abundance candle and hiding the vibrators, Sonja meets with her friend Sydney to try to assemble a last-minute mermaid get-up. And so, the origin story of Red Sonja begins.
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In a very different fashion, Carole and Kristen meet with the glam-squad to prepare for the parade. Carole is worried about her peep-hole eyes and compares herself to a fetus (a sexy fetus of course).
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Kristen is ready to showcase her eyes, which are decidedly non-fetus-y.
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How do you know you've found the right costume for Sonja Morgan? It sends her into an impromptu caburlesque performance.
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And Reid and Aviva are off to revisit the moment Aviva's life changed. This is a chance for her to set herself -- and Becky free.
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As Judah mentioned, it's tough being royalty. But thankfully Carole's familiar with the process -- even if the Mermaid Parade organizers aren't familiar with her name. It's Carole, not Karen you guys!
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After some confusion between high schoolers and drag queens, the ladies finally end up on the float they prefer (drag queens with alcohol). That's about the time they started to worry that perhaps the crowd thought they were drag queens.
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Sonja had a tough time making it to the parade on time (she lost another tooth), but eventually she made it -- and nearly poked LuAnn's eye out in the process. Be careful with those parasols ladies!
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Besides her royal duties, Carole took some time to pen an ode to the Mermaid Sisterhood for her fellow Housewives.
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Would any other Housewives go to this level of friendship commitment? We think not. Friendship is the costliest gem -- but The Real Housewives of New York City can afford it.
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Becky welcomes Aviva to her house with open arms, but going back to the day in question is extremely painful. But Aviva wants Becky to let that burden go. It's not her fault!
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Aviva wants Becky to know that she saved her life -- so pretty much no hard feelings!
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And then Aviva confronts all her demons by going right into the barn -- and standing on the very spot where it all happened. Aviva can't believe this "little mother f---er" did this to her. We can't believe she's brave enough to stand on this "little mother f---er."
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After letting it rip, Aviva feels great. She's not crumbling in the face of those fears. Go Viv!
