Sonja Morgan has once again decided to grace the world with her amazing cabaret skills, and there's no stopping her (even if she's a little late). The dancers may have tried to choreograph the show, but Sonja knows the trick to success: "bring the sexy and improvise!"
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Carole may not consider herself a 'Hamptons Girl', but she is a good driver! (At least by Housewives standards.) What Heather, Kristen, and Carole can agree on is getting to the beach to get their flirt and surf on immediately.
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The #RHONY decided to hang ten and take a surfing lesson. Was anyone else wishing that they had somehow convinced Sonja, Ramona, and LuAnn to try this as well?
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"Heather got up the first time -- bitch. So did Kristen -- bitch." So Carole's not competitive at all. . . But she did manage to pop up on the board eventually.
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...but the bonus of needing individualized attention is more time with the hot surfing instructor for Carole (their are worse things). And more time in the water, means less time running into her #BookGate nemesis Aviva.
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But, at the risk of getting pruny, the party had to move indoors -- plus it was time for Sonja's caburlesque. LuAnn and Aviva reunited in the most Gatsby inspired outfits of all time!
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Kristen liked LuAnn from the get-go (It is nice to have another lady at the same eye-level). Plus they have their modelling pasts to bond over.
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Heather finally found her fellow Housewives in the enormous airplane hanger of a party space -- but her cold shoulder didn't fly with Aviva (sometimes, we can't help ourselves with the puns).
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Heather got a hug and an invite to LuAnn's backyard BBQ with the rest of the ladies...
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...including Aviva! That's surely going to be a night of grilling.
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Aviva and LuAnn came to the conclusion that Carole is not a girls' girl. But what does that make her a boys' boys?
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"So, so, oui, oui, mother trucker!" Sonja's performance was one for the ages. Look back at her greatest times upon the stage here.
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Everyone was curious about Amanda from the start of the night (as curious as she was about the martinis being served in plastic cups), but things only got worse when she started throwing shade at Sonja.
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Heather was not amused by Amanda's ill-mannered comments. Menopause comparisons are not for public places.
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Leave it to Sonja to find the one foreign man at the backyard Hamptons party! She's doesn't miss a beat -- even if you are trying to distract her with designer clothing.
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Of course Kristen, the model, can look amazing in a high cut bathing suit.
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But the other ladies were questioning if this style was really back in -- and how they would survive the rest of the Hamptons drama.
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LuAnn is the Hamptons hostess with the most-est! Her BBQ is one summer party we wish we got the invite to. Money can't buy you class, but it can buy you loads of salads.
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Surprise, Kristen and Josh snuck into the kitchen. LuAnn might not think it's the classiest way to enter, but she's happy to have them here all the same.
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After a little lunch with Amanda (her image consultant), Harry (her ex), and Reid (her husband), Aviva made it to LuAnn's for the party! Surely, this will go well. . .
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Kristen says she's confused Harry doesn't look like George Clooney considering his playboy status. Frankly at this point, we think George Clooney should be taking pointers from him. He's got dating in New York City down.
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The latest lady to have her sites on Harry -- Amanda. After showing off her "packages" at lunch, she's ready to pounce on Mr. Dubin. But Sonja's not too pleased by this development.
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Thankfully Sonja's cavalcade of interns was on-hand to hear her side of the story. We imagine Pickles can give the best boy advice and the right amount of gentle hand-holding in the darkest of hours.
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Carole decided to clear the air with LuAnn and apologize for all that went on last season. They agree to move on in a world where no one is Michelle Obama and everyone can wear capes.
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Luann accepts! But Aviva isn't convinced that this is any more than a move in Carole's chess game.
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Sonja and Aviva share a smooch on the grounds of saying nice things about books. Where was harry when all this smooching went down? But not all problems can be sealed with kisses?
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Yeah, no kisses between Carole and Aviva. Once Carole donned her fedora and the talk got heated. Heather jumped in. Character assassination accusations were thrown around. Points were debated, as well as the finer points of what an actual point is.
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Despite LuAnn's cries of being the hostess and trying to calm things down, things only got worse. Amanda's contribution: "Not everyone is equally as brilliant...or is as great of a writer", to which Heather asked what -- "What are you talking about, Amanda?"
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And after Amanda said that, Heather gave her an open invitation to deck her. Too bad no one followed LuAnn into that kitchen.
