Stats: Shauna, just like fellow crazy Sex Toy Dave, also holds the distinction of making two "Matchmaker" appearances. She made a splash in Season 2 when she told Patti to lose the heavy bang (first mistake) and then came back with a vengeance in Season 3, running in the opposite direction of love when it tried to say hi. Literally. Shauna ran away from her date. No explanation. Just bolted. Patti declared the spa owner to be a "superficialist" from "the middle of osh-kosh nowhere" who "deserves to be single for the rest of her life." Gee Patti, how do you really feel?
Patti's Take: "You're not all that. That's why YOU'RE SINGLE. Cut your f**king penis off. Open the vagina!"
Shauna Swoons About The Date She Ran Away From: "I can't even LOOK at him. That guy is older than my Grampa...How could [Patti] do that! To set me up to look like an IDIOT! That guy is a HUNDRED!" (For the record, Shauna's date was a silver fox who definitely did not look like anyone's hundred year old grandfather. And no one had to set her up to make her look like an idiot.)
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Stats: David has a personal butler who hand feeds him grapes. Hey ladies, interested? No? Didn't think so. David's a 29-year-old retail owner with a car that Patti anoints as "uglier than ugg" and he has no problem admitting he thinks he's hot sh**. Almost makes you want to strap on some skates and roll off to see if Robbie Love's still available. Almost.
Patti's Take: "Every couple months I get a client that's a total wack-a-doo...he's a total brag-a-saurus. David has a classic case of NPD -- Narcissistic Perfectionist Disorder."
David's Dream Girl(boy): "I like Marylyn Monroe, Adriana Lima, Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls, but with the personality of someone like...Conan O'Brien."
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Is Dr. Robert Nettles gay or straight? Not even a pro like Patti can tell with Robert, the sexually ambiguous cosmetic facial surgeon. Why would it be difficult to date Dr. Rob? Well, according to him, there's probably something wrong with your face, and on a date your imperfect face can be very distracting. Hmm, vain much? Patti's Take: "Remember what Judge Judy said? Beauty fades and dumb is forever." Doctor's Orders: "If your left side looks like your right side, you're automatically two points higher."
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Stats: Gummi Bear wasn't crazy, he was just a little unique. For instance, he likes wearing gold jumpsuits and walking with a cane (at the ripe old age of 25.) He likes stuffed animals and he invites bartending monkeys to dinner. On a date, he never holds back (and that includes any bodily functions.) Patti's Take:"When I first saw the video I wasn't really sure about you, because I felt like you were playing jokey-jokey with the cane and the gold jacket. I was like, 'What IS this?'" Gummi Bear's Best Pick-Up Line: "Have you ever met a girl with a penis? That'd be scary."
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Rupert Wainwright knows everything. Except how to charm a lady. The Hollywood director and Rhodes Scholar from Oxford's first misfire is his choice of hot date spot - a local mission. Bummer. Things get even more awkward later in the evening at dinner, when he interrupts his date to teach her how to eat in a more visually pleasing way. Patti's Take: "Rupert's trying to fool me with his British accent like he's some classy cliché Cary Grant type. NOT. I know that Mr. Know-It-All's ego is going to take over and make this a really difficult week." Rupert's Date on Rupert: "The connection part wasn't there. He was just all about himself."
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Stats: Sex Toy Dave's craziness spans two seasons of "Matchmaker." After failing to find that special someone in the series premiere, the sex toy entrepreneur returned in Season 2 to give love another go-around. But despite numerous protests from Patti, Dave still adamantly refused to remove the built-in stripper pole from his living room.
Patti's Take: "Because Dave's a nerdy Jewish guy that fell off the Boston truck that landed in Hollywood, he thinks he can put what he wants into a computer and go (robot voice) 'Hello, I'm Dave I need a perfect looking girl so that it can create perfect spawn children. And she has to be hot and have a banging body.'"
Dave's Perfect Girl: "I would love a girl who also loves girls." Kinky!
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It's nice to know a guy loves his family, but it's a little strange when he brings half a dozen relatives along to a matchmaking session to help him pick out a hot date. Patti's not pleased when the Kurdish Iranian entrepreneur consults with his mother before choosing a potential love. Patti's Take: "Zagros is such a Mama's boy that I wouldn't be surprised if he was still breastfeeding." Zagros to Mom: "I'm not going to pick someone you don't like."
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Matchmaker Patti Stanger might be the relationship master, but make no mistake, she's not a miracle worker. Even with Patti's professional help, it's not easy for some of her millionaire clients to find true love, especially when they're total wack-a-doos, Momma's boys, and brag-a-sauruses (her pet names, not ours). Over the past three seasons of "The Millionaire Matchmaker," Patti's dealt with her fair share of crazy -- here's a look back at the wackiest of the bunch.
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Stats: Robbie Love is a professional roller rapper. Yes, that's right, Robbie roller skates and raps. (A sampling of lyrics from his self-produced music video: "Did you hear Robbie Love was coming?/ He's sooo fiiiine...") Robbie also happens to be a 40-year-old who dresses and acts like he's 24, and he lives in a dumpy apartment building that's not unlike a college dorm.
Patti's Take: "Robbie Love is immature, hopeless, and never gonna get from A to Z. He's 40 and he hasn't figured life out."
Robbie's Last Word: "If [Patti] can't get married how can anyone else get married?" Ouch. Harsh words from Mr. Love.
