Tom: If Katie Cheated Drunk, I Could Deal

GORDO!

I was so scared to commit to getting a dog, mostly because for practical reasons, like scheduling and fear of not being home enough. But let me tell you, now that we have him we can't imagine a life without him. Without Tom and Ariana there I may have deliberated with myself for days. They snapped me out of it and told me to buck up. Uncle Tom bought him a dapper collar.

I joked about getting a dog to buy me time in regards to having kids/marriage but I was being facetious. I wanted to get a dog to surprise my girl and because we have a lot of love to give! I love dogs. We have seven dogs back home and like four cats and two horses. In general, my family loves animals. I love animals. People who are dicks to animals can expect my foot up their ass. Adopt. Make a difference in a little cutie's life!

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There was a ton of apprehension at the rescue center, Bark and Bitches, mostly because I was worried about committing. We walked in and little Gordo jumped in my lap and looked in my eyes. We connected immediately, but I had to give the other dogs consideration. It's not a decision you rush. Fools rush. Not that I'm not a fool. Because I am. Just a fool that knows better than to rush into decisions. You do that sh-- when you are 17. I mean it's kind of romantic to rush into things -- and I do indulge in spontaneity and sh--.

There was so much apprehension built up and it was a wave of relief that was almost tidal in scope (plagiarized that line from Bret Easton Ellis' American Psycho) when I saw the look on Katie's face. We are both so head over heals gaga in love with Gordo it's sick. He gets treated like a king. Can't imagine life without him now. Gordo Von Friendenheimer AKA Friend-Friend. We are so lucky to have him!

It was borderline sad trying to see people try and stir the pot of Katie's infidelity rumors. It was honestly laughable. I struggled to take them seriously even for a moment.

Even if they were true, I know it would have been innocent/drunk flirting. Not that I think that's acceptable within a relationship -- but you have to be reasonable and have perspective. People are always so vocal in regards to alcohol not being an excuse. It definitely doesn't excuse reckless behavior or going out and fooling around, but there is a huge distinction between doing stuff like that wasted and sober. If you have an affair when of sound mind and judgment, sober, you are an ---hole. If you do it drunk on a whim you are more of a douchebag. Both despicable but the distinction has to be noted. If Katie cheated on me while wasted I could deal with it. If she was emotionally invested and leading some sort of surreptitious life on the side with another dude, we would have to call it quits. It would be heartbreaking. These are just my feelings on the matter. To reiterate I don't think either scenario is OK, they are both awful but to a different degree. In regards to these accusations in particular, I'd say bullsh--. It's something innocent getting sensationalized, maybe due to their ire towards Katie. Out of spite maybe? I don't know what's fueling it.

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Jax was being an a-hole. He does that sometimes in spurts. Kristen is still on her "Everyone is just as bad as me" kick and I think that's why she's spearheading some cheating accusation -- as if revealing others' infidelity will bring her some justice. Reparations. Sigh. It's not even like she's a horrible person. She's just a massive pain in the ass and a constant liability. No one wants to be friends with someone who is having meltdowns on a weekly basis. Ain't nobody got time for that. Trying hard not to breathe life into this stuff. The "Schwartz" senses some darkness approaching.

LUNCH CLIP