Facing Facts

I wanted to apologize for posting this blog late. It is not in my nature to be late on these, but this week has really been tough on me. Without getting into too many of the details, I had to reorganize and terminate some of my staff in order to have it grow in a positive manner which caused my workload to be at an all time high.

This weeks' episode as you can tell is leading up to a lot of different situations that will actually unfold all season long.

First of all, I want to talk about the Catalina boat ride with Tamra, Eddie, and Brooks. What you didn't see on the boat ride, was Eddie and I talking about both being Aries, about our drive and passion for success (in all areas of our lives), our work ethic and our desire to travel the world. I never thought Tamra would get jealous of that, because she was the one who always talked about how much Eddie and I were alike and we used to laugh about it. When she placed Brooks' hand on her "boobie," it wasn't sexual -– but I do see how Eddie felt she crossed the line. I feel that Eddie laid the groundwork down as to the boundaries in their relationship, and I don't think Tamra will jeopardize that anymore.

When Heather called me and invited me to a painting party --- I was like "What?" What the heck is a painting party? I had never been one to paint or draw and although I believe I have a lot of talents. . .drawing or painting is not one of them. I surprised myself when I actually painted a shoe without the help of a paint-by-number paper. At the end of the night, it was fun to do something different. Brooks actually surprised all the girls when he showed up to pick me up. I had a flight out the next morning to New Jersey and he drove me to a hotel near L.A. so I could spend the night there for my early morning flight. I didn't know how the girls were going to accept him, but everyone seemed really sweet. The fact of the matter is that Tamra and Eddie had met Brooks a few months earlier, so it wasn't as if Brooks was meeting all the girls for the first time.

When I was saying goodbye to the ladies I didn't even realize that I didn't hug Tamra goodbye. To hear her say I was jealous of Tamra and Gretchen's relationship is just silly. I told Tamra last year, I had hoped that they could be at least cordial to one another and I encouraged her to stop all that nonsense. To say I'm jealous is the farthest thing from my mind. I have many, many "best friends" that you the viewers never meet and never have any of them been jealous of each other. I mean really. . .we are in our 40s. Why can't we have many friends versus just one? I feel Tamra is the type of friend that focuses on one friend at a time, and then tends to find faults in the others to alienate them from the group. You can see that happening this year again. It seems every year she is mad at someone or trying to find fault in someone, which I just don't understand.

My view on friendships is plain and simple. Have many of them, treat them with respect, laugh with them, learn from them, encourage them, be true to them, truly have their "back," and hopefully grow old with them. I wish and pray that Tamra and Gretchen will have a friendship that will last a lifetime. I think they are very much alike and that if they have chosen to truly "bury the hatchet," then they are both doing the right thing. But to state publicly they are BFFs right out of the gate is a little odd. . .

Now the subject everyone seems to be talking about this season is BROOKS. I am saddened and appalled that Gretchen and Slade felt it important to bring Brooks child support issues up. First of all, if most of you remember I did not talk about Slade, his work, or child support issues at all last year. If you recall I actually publicly apologized for commenting on something that is so personal and none of my business. I did not condone Tamra calling Grayson's mom when we were filming the reunion last year to discuss his personal and financial issues. It was NONE of my business or Tamra's, and I found it terribly disrespectful and felt it crossed the line. Now that I am dating Brooks, I guess Gretchen and Slade feel I'm a good target to hit because of Brooks' past situation. I think it's best to state the FACTS:

1. Brooks children are his utmost priority in his life. It is for this reason that I respect and love him so immensely. PERIOD. He loves his children with all of his might and sees his children as much as possible. He is not a deadbeat dad.

2. Brooks got behind in child support and was arrested. Neither Brooks nor I have denied that and it is terribly humiliating and embarrassing to him.

3. Because Brooks is dating me (which equates to being on camera), he has had to publicly face the backlash from press and people, which he did not want.

4. I do not condone fathers who don't support their children. It is not only a financial responsibility to support your children, but also requires emotional, spiritual, and physical support. When the financial difficulty hit Brooks he more than made up in the other areas of their lives.

5. I have been a single mom and a recipient of an ex-husband who did not consistently financially assist me in supporting Mike and Briana. Not only did my ex-husband abandon my children emotionally, but also he did spiritually and physically. I would never encourage or be with a deadbeat dad because of my personal experience raising Michael and Briana. I therefore understand both sides, but ultimately it's not only the father's responsibility to raise and provide for their children, it's also the mother's. When my ex-husband could not assist me in supporting our children, I picked up the slack and became more creative on how I could support them on my own. I didn't lie down and expect another man to come in and support them for me, nor did I lie down and depend on the government to support me. Read more about this in my book at MoreThanaHousewifeBook.com

I could continue on and on about this, but at the end of the day I just want everyone to know that there are TWO sides to every story. Brooks is an amazing man and father, or I wouldn't be with him. End of discussion.

I wanted to thank all of you for your continued support. Life is hard and it hasn't been easy for most of us these past few years. People are getting married, people are divorcing, people have health issues, have lost loved ones, and had financial issues, which have affected almost every one of us.

For those of you that have contacted me about your IRA or 401K rollovers, thank you for your business. For those of you that haven't, please do. I am a safe money advisor and in 22 years, not one of my clients have ever lost $1 due to non-guaranteed accounts. Please visit my website for any of your retirement planning needs at CotoRetirementPlanning.com or email us at info@cotoretirementplanning.com.  For those of you that are interested in reviewing your current life insurance policy or are in the need of a new policy, please visit my website at CotoInsurance.com.

My feeling and beliefs are simple and true to my core. Treat others as you wish to be treated, try to look at the glass as half-full -- and not half-empty, hug someone that you just met, be forgiving instead of judgmental, smile a lot -– it will confuse "them," save more and spend less, be honest and don't lie, and do a little "Woo Hoo" once in a while.

I wish you all peace and thank you for taking the time to read my blog.

Warmly,
Vicki
www.vickigunvalson.com