Shannon Beador: I Am Entitled to Be Sad In a Very Devastating Period of My Life
"I am going through the most difficult six months of my life."
I was so excited for the Jamaica trip and the chance to just get away!
When we arrived, it was so hot and humid. The hotel looked beautiful. When Kelly suggested I room with Emily and Gina, I thought that was strange. I don't necessarily think I was rude, I was just honest. I wanted to have a fun trip and sleep in a room with people I was comfortable with.
When you travel with people, you get to know them. I planned to do that on the vacation. Not so sure the old folk’s home comment was the nicest, but you didn’t hear me complaining about it.
I was shocked to receive a text at dinner that my rental home was sold. I do understand how fortunate I am. What is important to me is that my children have structure and a home where they feel comfortable. It has nothing to do with being fortunate. They have been through so much and have been happy at our new home. I understand that I was checked out at dinner. The broker was sending potential rental homes to look at, and I was hoping that one would work. My kids have been through so much disappointment, and I didn’t want to put them through anymore.
After my emotional moment, I realized there was nothing I could do in Jamaica and I needed to enjoy myself. I already had a lot of fun, so I wanted to continue. When Vicki "overheated," I was dying of laughter. She was hilarious! Always something going on! And it was fun to get up and dance.
The spa at the hotel was beautiful. I had never been to a Himalayan salt room and was so excited to try it! My jaws were literally sore after going in the salt room and mineral pool with Vicki and Kelly. It felt great to laugh so much!
There is an obvious distance between Emily, Gina, and I. I haven't made them a priority, because I don't think they have been the kindest. Tamra and Kelly continually say nice things about them, so my plan for the trip was to spend more time with them to get to know them. You can't force a friendship. It does seem that they sure do like to bring me up a lot. Don't they have other things to talk about?
It is not easy to watch Tamra say negative things about me. I thought we had the type of friendship where she would come to me instead of talking behind my back to girls that really don't know anything about me. I don't wake up with a negative comment every single day. That is an exaggeration. I am going through the most difficult six months of my life. Being sad about a failed marriage and all the things that come with it doesn't not make me an unhappy person. Single life isn't "awesome" when you are going through an extremely nasty and contentious divorce. I am entitled to be sad in a very devastating period of my life.
I was surprised to hear Tamra's comments about asking Vicki to ride on the river raft. We have a kayak history together, and I asked her to ride together because we were sitting next to each other. I had no hidden agenda. Still having a good time.
Vicki and I had a ball with Leroy, our raft guide. We laughed so hard trying to get all three of us to sing a "round" of Row Your Boat. And then Vicki got bug spray in her eye which really irritated it. I couldn't stop laughing. Not sure we were Debbie Downers.
Until next week...
