Bethenny Frankel: It Triggers Me

I am a reality star on a reality show. Bravo asked me to return because they feel that I am honest, direct and don't manufacture drama or edit myself. This episode is a brutally honest example of that. I always say: You may not like me, but you know you're getting the truth. I will forever stand by my tagline. You will also see that if I say or see something, it usually comes to fruition--often before the audience or the other Housewives see it. Please refer to my eight years on reality television.

I felt for Dorinda but perhaps a little bit too late. Perhaps I don't like or trust John or his influence on Dorinda. I have made that clear. Last week he attacked my personal life and the business that I created from scratch when I was broke. This is when I become like a lion protecting its young.

Now, two days later, she, in my opinion, mistakenly brings him to my birthday party. He, in my opinion, mistakenly comes. The sight and presence of him was too much for me. I didn't want him there. I made that clear. I didn't buy his apology. Now I need to try to suck it up for Dorinda. A bitch I may be but an honest one. I don't "act" or play it up or down for the cameras because I know the audience may find me harsh. This guy had no place at my house two days after the incident.

Now to brunch. I didn't want to go and had no idea it was such an intimate setting. Four of the seven in the group are in conflict. Why have John answer the door? Three days is not long enough for me to get over John's actions.

Why Does Bethenny Notice These Things?

I made it clear to Carole that I was dreading it, and I made a mistake in being there. I truly thought it would be a big group.

It is my gut and opinion that Jules has an eating issue. It is something I am very familiar and have too much experience with, and it makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to put myself in a situation with a "smorgasbord" between us. I am very sensitive about this, and it triggers me. You will see the softer side of me come out on this issue next week.

In my real life, like on my reality show, I speak candidly to my friends, one of whom is Carole. In that real world I tell my friends when I think someone lives in a McMansion or tries to show everyone how much money they have. To me, bragging about nannies, not knowing how to make coffee and your religious private Manhattan school needing your money is not for me. It is "all show and no go."

Who Are You to Judge?

My house may be smaller than Jules' 9,400 sq. foot house but then again, she brought that up not me. I live in a beautiful house in a great area in the center of the Hamptons. It is paid in full by yours truly and completely finished. And she is right that you can put a rollercoaster in her living room, but if I have to drive deep into the woods, step on nails and dog sh-- to get there then, I won't be riding it.

Jules has made several nasty age remarks about myself and my friends, blamed the John incident on me twice and called me Debbie Downer. For now, let's just say there is more to this than meets the eye.

My renovation advice I should keep to myself, and shame on us for going there if we couldn't be gracious. Fittingly, the Alex and Simon's home was shown, and that was no accident. There are some similarities here. That said, I own my bitchiness as always. I made a mistake. All I can say is my bitchiness is there for everyone to see versus only when I'm in an interview chair.

This was not the most enjoyable weekend, and I'm sure it showed. Let's leave it at that. A lot more will be answered in episodes to come.

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