Teresa Giudice: This Episode Was the Hardest One to Watch

Hi Everyone --

I hope everybody's doing OK.

This has been a rough season, but this last episode was, by far, the hardest one to watch because I had to relive Joe leaving me and the girls all over again.

When I said in the episode that I wasn’t prepared for the day he was leaving, I meant it. Joe said the same thing: that nothing really prepares you to leave your family for that long. For a long time before he left, I tried to stay positive as much as I could for Joe and the girls, but I could never fully put it out of my mind. I always knew that horrible day was coming.

I'm so glad we threw Joe that going away party. He had so much fun hanging out with all the family and friends that came. He loved that so many kids were there, too. It was a family night for everybody, because in the end, as I have said so many times, family is all that matters. (I loved holding onto my honey while we were riding that bull! I still think about that night…he has told me that he has, too…)

That last morning was one of the worst of my life. Joe and I spent as much time alone together as we could before people came over to the house to say goodbye. I was so glad Melissa and Joe were there. That meant a lot to me.

I wasn’t planning on driving with Joe to the prison but ended up going at the last minute. It was too hard for me to say goodbye to him at the house. I wanted to be with him up until the moment when he had to walk into the prison doors. I wanted to see him go in myself. I wanted to make sure he was safe.

When we did say goodbye, it was very, very hard. As I said on the show, I felt drained the whole day. It still is hard with him being away, but we talk to Joe and see him as much as we can. We are getting through this, like we have gotten through everything else -– with prayers, strength and love.

I do want to thank all my fans for all the support you are STILL showing me, Joe and the girls. I love, love, love, love you all so much.

One person who doesn’t seem like she's supporting me too much these days is, of course, Jacqueline. She said on the show that she got teary-eyed when she saw pictures of me saying goodbye to Joe. At first I thought that was nice, but then I wondered if that was just her being fake. But in the end, who cares? She and I are done. I wish her and her family well. I just want her to leave me and my family alone.

Have a great rest of the week. See you again on Sunday!

Please follow me on Twitter @Teresa_Giudice and Instagram (@teresagiudice).

I love, love, love, love you all!

xo

Teresa