Amber on Her Meltdown with Teresa

Hello friends and family! 

Goodbye to summer and hello to a new school year! I know this is such a bitter-sweet time for us mommies and daddies. We want to keep our little ones, well, little, but we are beside ourselves with pride as we watch them flourish and become young adults. This year, all four are now in school. Isabella was my last to go; now I am home without her. I feel blessed to spend all the time I did with them though. In fact, I homeschooled my two little ones and waited until they were 6 years old to start their school careers. I just felt I wanted to be a part of everything that they did, and no one is a better teacher to my babies than I am. I am so grateful for that time. Besides, why the rush?! They have many years in school. Sadly, my time has ended. 

Now on to the episodes. Nicole’s philosophy is if you don’t say, “Please don’t tell anyone,” then it’s OK to tell another person. No matter what the circumstance and the relationships involved. I guess, according to Nicole, everything that has gone down this season is OK to speak about, after all, everyone should know the truth. Then Nicole shouldn’t get mad when someone speaks about what goes on in her life. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, as they say. Then it was certainly OK for Jim to tell everyone about the girl Bobby keeps in Florida. After all, Bobby didn’t say don’t tell anyone. 

I find it completely offensive that Bobby shared my personal text to him in relation to what Bobby did to me and shared it to not only with Nicole, but also TeResssa, and then with the world. Again, this shows his true colors. I was reaching out and he used it as a “look at me” moment to impress the twins. I never gave permission to do that, and I think it is disgusting. My intentions and hope were to privately work things out, get through the B.S. and remain friends. This is where Nicole, if she was a good woman and friend, should have said, "She is obviously hurt, you should talk to her. You say she is like a sister, so hopefully you can work things out." As I said in the text, Jim needed no explanation from Bobby. Jim knows Bobby crossed him. Jim is finished with little piss ants who put more importance on popularity than friends and family. However, I wanted to give Bobby a chance. I was second guessing my conversation in the kitchen the next day after the blow up at his house. Perhaps I was too harsh? Perhaps I did not give him a chance to share his side? What does Bobby do instead? Make my personal text to him a mockery. Jim was right, I should not have reached out to Bobby; he considered me a sister and yet did not want to talk. 

You know, between this stunt and Nicole calling me in front of her co-workers on speaker phone, it just goes to shows how they behave like trash. Bobby and twins are completely insincere and only care about themselves. Actions speak louder than words. Did you ever notice that not once so far this entire season have we heard from either one of them a cohesive, intelligent reasoning for their deplorable actions? Nicole did have a relationship with a married man, so why did she attack me and pretend to be shocked and outraged? They just have a lot of bad rhetoric and hot air. Jim and I are very vocal, we recounted what happened because we have nothing to hide and stand by everything we have done. When you have something to hide, Nicole, yes, "silence is golden." You don’t want to twist the lies up. One thought about Rino, I truly wish we were able to see this side of him that we are seeing in their kitchen. I can see a kind man. I still don’t know why he attacked my husband in the kitchen, Jim clearly said he would go out with Bobby and Rino. Rino did not know my husband and coupled with the timing of his attack, he should not have done that. It was a BAD first impression. 

OK, OK, OK, on to my most annoying scene to date -- my total meltdown when I called Teresa! OH MY Lord! I seriously was annoying to watch, I cannot imagine what you all were thinking. I remember that day, and I can assure you, I was having a very rough and emotional day. I cannot share exactly what was going on yet, but I was going through a very difficult time. I think it just all hit me at once, and I was displacing my fears and anxieties onto Teresa. Not that I do not care for her or her family, I truly do. That was absolutely not insincere; I was emotional for personal reasons and just could not deal. I do wish though that Gia, a 13 year old child, could have been asked to leave the room as her mother talked to both me and Melissa. I guess we have very different parenting styles. In my opinion, Gia should not hear adult conversations. Regardless what you think of my breakdown, I certainly do not give a crap about what she was wearing to court, I am thinking only of her children. Honestly, I wish I was not so empathetic to other sometimes; I take on other people's heartaches all of the time, and it greatly affects me. 

And, as far as asking too many questions, she is right, I did, and I apologize. This is difficult for me; I am unfamiliar with situations like the one Teresa and Joe are in. It is my personality to educate myself on everything there is to know of the situation. I remember when I was being treated there were two groups. Some people being diagnosed with cancer did not want to know anything about it. Their attitude was just give me the treatment and call it a day. As you can see, that is not me, I wanted to understand the science, the medicine, and the statistics about everything that I was going through. I think and think and think repeatedly in my mind until the thought is pulverized. Sometimes it is exhausting; I wish my brain would turn off. But it is just me, always has been and always will be. However, I do have to learn and respect that not everyone is going to be like that, including Teresa. 

Going on to the scene where we were discussing Project Ladybug and our trip to Florida. I had not seen or talked to Teresa since being at her friend Victoria Gotti’s home where she shared that bombshell with us. I had no idea what to expect, especially after the attack at Bobby’s house. The best way to explain this to you is to bring you into my mind and have you walk through my thought process.

[video_clip_url:http://player.theplatform.com/p/PHSl-B/yT7k3t_YLXoZ/embed/select/nYL_70mLkvuc]Welcome to my mind:

1. The twins and I were working things out. Was Teresa going to say something? How was she going to handle it? I did not know Bobby and the twins were trash talking behind my back about reaching out to Bobby. I truly thought were working things out. 

2. After what Bobby, the twins, and even Melissa did to me, I was not in a place that I trusted anyone. As I looked around the room, I thought not one person who knew I was attacked, not one, gave a sh--. They did not break it up. They were worried about eating and went to dinner to celebrate with the attackers. And remember, it was because of me this group met. They knew one another for a hot minute. So, no, I was not trusting anyone at this point. With that in my mind, I found it suspect and odd that Teresa, who is good friends with Victoria, never heard this shocking piece of information. Was I being set up? AGAIN!? 

3. More bizarrely we were just asked to go on vacation with the girls. I have never left my children for any reason, so this was a big step for me. Before I even considered going, I wanted to make sure that Teresa knew that first; I would not disrespect her or her friend and blab to anyone about what I was told. I wanted to be crystal clear that I did not know what she was going to do with this information, if anything, but I was not going to do a damn thing with it. I am sweeping it off my front porch! 

4. What did Victoria Gotti gain by telling me this? Just why?! Still to this day it baffles me. 

I leave you with a final thought that swirls in my mind still to this day. How did Teresa not know Victoria Gotti's bombshell about Rino already? That is some story to keep a secret until a causal drop in. Why do the twins blame me and Jim? We did not know Victoria Gotti, so something seemed out of sorts. The meeting was way too coincidental for me. All I know is Teresa brought this rumor to my table, and I was asked to go to Florida with a group of girls who either attacked me or sat idly by as I was attacked…stay tuned.

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I want to wish all the sons and daughters a smooth and enjoyable transition into the school year. Education is so important and very much celebrated in our home. Sending you love and big hugs!

Amber