The Teresa Apology Tour

Hi baby dolls! It was amazing meeting so many of you in Texas this week at the breast cancer charity event. Thank you all for watching me on Celebrity Apprentice again this week -- I'm in the final five! Can you believe it? And as always, thank you for supporting me and my family. I read every one of your comments and Twitter and Facebook posts. I appreciate your prayers and compliments and inspiration!

And thank you for supporting my cookbook Fabulicious! I'm really proud of it, the recipes are delicious, and it's sold out again everywhere! Amazon just got more in stock, so if you can't find a copy, here's the link: http://amzn.to/Jmnw2D

So let's talk about this episode. Again, and I'm going to keep saying this every week, this season was filmed last year. The stress of filming two seasons almost continuously with family and friends along with everything else... it really took a toll on me. Just like Jacqueline is thrilled to be in a new place with Ashlee a year later, I'm so happy to have moved on personally as well. I do miss my friends, and I do wish things were different with my family, but all I can do is give them time.

I'm beginning to think this season might be the Teresa Apology Tour. Hopefully it's coming to an end! I did first apologize to everyone privately, I apologized to them on camera, and I apologized to them publicly. I don't know what more I can do. In last week's blog I went over the cookbook "insults" and the wonderful compliments I gave them all page by page, so you can judge for yourself.It's hard watching the show a year later and seeing for the first time what friends and family said about you when you weren't in the room. When I went to Jacqueline's, I definitely felt the awkwardness like everyone was just talking about me, but I wanted to make sure I got my apology out any way. I'll be honest, I don't love hearing new "jokes" every week about me and my kids, but I can roll with it. My kids are healthy and beautiful, my marriage is strong, I really can't ask for more.

I'm sorry that Melissa doesn't "give a sh--" about my cookbook. I really don't think Joey read my first one, and it makes me sad, because I did talk about growing up with him. We had an amazing childhood. Skinny Italian came out a year before my brother and Melissa were approached/begged/talked to Danielle/made an audition tape/however it really went down to be on the show, and neither one of them came to a single book signing. To quote the song Alexa Ray Joel sang on last year's season: "All I can do is love..."As for the whole "gold digger" thing with Melissa, I'm very protective of my only brother. He was engaged two times before Melissa, and I hated seeing his heart broken every time things didn't work out. After that, he did date a lot of women who were interested in him for all the wrong reasons. So when he and Melissa were dating, she was at dinner with my family and she made a comment about how when she saw my brother's house and how well he was doing, she wasn't stupid, that she wasn't going to let him go. From our family's history with actual gold diggers, you can imagine it wasn't a great thing to hear. She probably said it from nerves and trying to be funny, but it rubbed me the wrong way. We live in a small town. I heard things about the type of guys Melissa dated before my brother, and I hear things I don't like now. I pray they aren't true. I hope my brother and Melissa stay married forever! I never should have brought it up on the show last season though, and I'm sorry. And I've learned not to bring up my concerns to my brother publicly or privately! It was a hard lesson, but I've learned it. I do really like the song Melissa sang for my brother. She played it for me last year, and I told her so then too. Here's the link to it on iTunes: http://bit.ly/IdQ0sG. Everyone go buy a copy and support her!

There was a tiny ray of hope this week: after connecting briefly on Twitter, I talked to Jacqueline on the phone for the first time in months to try and take baby steps back towards our friendship. It wasn't a perfect conversation for either of us, but out of respect for her, I'm going to keep the details of it private. I thought she looked great on Watch What Happens Live and I'm sorry I was stuck in Texas and couldn't make it. Keep my seat warm, Andy, and I'll bring you some Fabellini to make up for it!For more information about the charity I'm fighting for on Celebrity Apprentice, please visit www.NephCure.org. I'm blessed and honored to be involved with them. It makes me so happy to be able to use being on TV to bring attention to something positive: finding a cure for a disease that affects so many adults and children. I know we can do it! Please help if you can!

I love, love, love you all more than you know! Thank you for sticking with me through thick and thin! Follow me on Twitter @Teresa_Giudice and visit my website www.teresagiudice.com for info about upcoming appearances, where to buy my Fabellini info, cute pictures of my terrorist children, and more!

Tanti Baci,
Teresa xx