The Vow

Hi everyone!
 
Hope you all had an amazing weekend. Sorry for not writing sooner. My weekends have been busy, but I’m looking forward to some relaxing ones coming up. Summer is almost here, and that means it’s time to go down the shore! I can’t wait for you to see how much fun we have at our shore house in the summertime. It’s probably the only time work doesn't happen for two days in a row and no cell phones!
 
So let’s get onto the episode. Ugh, I didn’t like watching this week. It was really hard to go back to that place. It puts a knot in my stomach that I can’t explain. As you can see I truly was pushed to my limit and the filter came off. I was trying to put the issues between Teresa and I behind us, as I thought we both agreed to do, but I started to realize and now can definitely say after watching these past few episodes and reading her blogs that’s not at all what Teresa was trying to do.
 
I’m not going to deny what Teresa said to my husband bothered me, but on the night of the solstice party I had no intention to talk about anything negative. As soon as I got there I sat right at Teresa’s table and talked to her normally and wanted to again just have a good night. Obviously that isn’t what happened as I was summoned to Teresa not once but TWICE that night!When I first went to talk to her, I thought it was going to be about what she said to her brother, but immediately when we started talking she brought up Joe Giudice “going away” and her brother not being there. She brought it up, she asked me to talk to her about it, and I simply was answering her question and used a word she didn't like. And here came the storm! Once again, I’m left there hanging because Super T decided she didn’t want to talk about a “legal subject” that she brought up in the first place and has spoken about publicly many times in the tabloids. OK, I get it, don’t use that word!
 
Back to the party I go trying to enjoy the rest of the night, only to be beckoned once again because Teresa wanted to talk about a different subject now according to Jacqueline. At this point I’m more than annoyed. It’s time to throw off the Louboutins and just get everything off my chest with her so we can just move on already. (Note to all my girlfriends, please don’t to attempt to push me this many times and think I will constantly forgive you. Please don’t think I’m a doormat. Teresa is family, therefore she gets many chances.) With that said, I don’t think I need to recap the whole argument, as you can take what you want to take away from it, but after watching this episode and what has transpired over the last few weeks, there are a couple points I want to make clear.

First, where did these rumors about my marriage with Joe start? That’s the million dollar question. When Teresa was hearing these so-called rumors the show had just started airing and I hadn’t even had a performance yet. What’s interesting is she didn't bring up the fact that it had anything to do with my music until she was continually questioned about her reason for telling Joey these "rumors" in the first place. People weren’t buying her good, supportive sister act.
 
When Joey confronted her, she tries to put it on him and say that he tells her rumors about Joe, which is not true. My husband did not intentionally tell Teresa about her husband cheating. Those rumors have been around for years and in the same tabloids she gives interviews to and poses with her children. She even brings it up on camera with her husband in the first episode. Joe and I don’t say anything to Teresa about it, nor do we bring it up on camera or in the press. Teresa even explains that she read her husband’s text messages and that her brother Joey was upset that she saw them, because that’s not what he intended. But again, when Teresa gets called out, she spins it perfectly by saying tell your husband not to tell me about my husband cheating. Which is it Teresa, did your brother tell you about Joe cheating or did you read Joe’s text messages? I guess this is her way of justifying "these so called rumors."

Here are some more ways. When she told Jacqueline at her house the night of the boat party and Jacqueline asked why she thinks that, she replied, “She just strikes me as that kind of person.” On the way to the solstice party she tells Kim D that “she hears things from people and wanted to open her brother’s eyes.” She told me that she heard from people saying that it was because I was going to start performing in the nightclubs. I feel like Teresa is constantly looking for any reason she can to say I’m a bad wife. When she realizes no one is buying these "rumors," she brings up a dinner we went to with Kathy, Richie, Teresa, Joe, me, and Joey for my 29th birthday. In last week’s blog she says it was when Joey and I were dating, but this dinner happened when I already had Antonia and Gino. During the dinner we were all teasing our men and joking around at the table. Teresa was teasing her husband about how she will always buy everything she wants, my husband starting teasing me saying you married me for (this) pointing to Tarzan! I said to him in front of everyone, (laughing), “Yeah right, I saw that house baby doll.” We were all playing as friends and family laughing and drinking. Even Kathy said that we were just playing around when Teresa tried to get her to back her up at the reunion. Is that all she’s got on me?
 
I honestly can’t help but feel that she is projecting the issues in her life onto mine. After watching this episode, I think it’s extremely obvious what my sister-in-law is trying to do. The question is why would she do it? Does she think that if my marriage goes badly hers will get better? Does she think that if she puts the negative attention on me then it will not be on her? I’m not sure, but one thing I do know is that it is sad and it’s a shame. I try to be pretty easy in a lot of my blogs and tip toe around Teresa, but this time she is playing with fire. I am woman who loves my husband more than anything in this world. I will bend over backwards for him and my children. She knows that and I think at times she wishes she had more on me. How about just being happy that your brother is happy? You can throw dirt in my face a couple times and I will take it, but DON’T, mess with my family, DON’T mess with my children’s lives, and DON’T mess with my marriage. That is where I will NEVER back down.
 
To this day, Teresa is still trying to justify the rumors and still blames this whole situation on her brother Joey for not keeping their conversation private, but she honestly doesn't understand that you don't say something like that to a man about his wife and expect him to just live with it and keep it to himself. A marriage is a partnership and my husband and I tell each other everything, just like Teresa tells her husband everything. How does this blood is thicker than water notion apply to a husband and wife? We have three beautiful children together and are a family. It's called respect, and I'm not sure Teresa ever will understand that she doesn't have to like me, but she has to respect my marriage to her brother and keep her "rumors" to herself.For the record, Joey comes to all of my appearances, not because he's insecure like his sister says, it's because we enjoy spending time together and having fun together. Again, that's what a partnership is. Teresa knows this, but still wants to insinuate to her brother and her friends that I would leave him for a richer man. Even after the paid tabloid apology for not supporting my music career, which I had to go to Shoprite to read, she is still trying to rationalize what she said in her blogs. Teresa obviously hasn’t learned her lesson because in last week’s blog she continues to talk about the rumors she hears about my marriage. Nothing has changed with her, she is just better at getting others to do and say what she can’t so she looks innocent. That might answer your question as to why we still aren’t speaking. She won’t let up and I don’t know how she can look at herself in the mirror at this point. This is her baby brother’s marriage. All I can do is pray for her, and when she is ready to let up, I will talk to her about it then without an audience.
 
In the meantime, we’ll keep sending our nieces presents, because we love them, and they can continue to throw them out.
 
And for those of you asking about how our relationship with Joe’s parents is going, let me give you the real answer instead what the ridiculous “sources” are saying on the blogs. Our relationship is great! We see them at least once a week for dinner at our house. I cook with my father-in-law, and Gino helps since he wants to be a cook now. Joe and his dad play cards for hours while my mother-in-law and I play with the kids. We don’t discuss Teresa or the show, we just choose to enjoy each other’s company, let the kids enjoy spending time with their grandparents, and have a nice meal together. And that’s that truth.
 
On a lighter note, watching Rosie babysit the cousins was the best! I swear I could watch the Jersey kids all day. They are definitely a handful, but they are so worth it! When I see Milania and Antonia together I just melt. They pay no attention to the cameras and have no idea they are even there. I was dying when I heard them talking about poop! You can’t help but love them. Rosie definitely looked like she needed a scotch and cig after a few hours with them! And Lauren Manzo… please listen when we say you are beautiful and talented. I absolutely adore her. Sometimes girls going through their 20s are unsure of themselves, but soon enough she will see what a prize she is. Vito does! Lauren has beauty inside and out and she will definitely find her way. She already has an incredible beauty bar called CafFace open in Franklin Lakes that’s all hers! If you haven’t checked it out you should!
 
Finally, I wanted to thank all my loyal fans for supporting me this season and my music! How Many Times went to No. 4 last week on iTunes and broke the Top 100 songs chart! I can’t even believe it. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love this song and I can’t get enough of it! I really wrote it from my heart and I guess it shines through! Here is the link to iTunes if case you haven’t heard it yet: http://bit.ly/hmtdearjoe.
 
Xoxo,
 
Melissa
 
P.S. - I post a blog on my website each week with all the fashion and accessories that you see me wear each episode! I also have more appearances coming up and hope to meet you at one of them! Make sure you check out my website at http://www.melissagorga.co and follow me on Twitter @melissagorga and on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/melissagorga.co for all the scoop!