Boundary Issues

Sorry my blog is so late this week. I have been working on so many great projects that have been keeping me very busy. I can't wait to share them with you. I appreciate all of your love and support, and I just want to be able to give something back to you. Everything will be revealed in time.

I would discuss Lauren's body image issues (which most women have), but I already know how that story ends. The girl is rocking a new slim, toned figure now! She feels a lot more confident and truly looks amazing. She owns and runs her own beauty store called Cafface in Franklin Lakes, which is doing very well. Lauren is in a well-deserved, happy place. We are all very proud of her.

Let's get to what every episode has been about so far -- Teresa's family drama! Anyone else hear Joe say in this episode while he and Teresa were driving in the car, "You're brother is always telling sh-- to you and then you're coming back and saying shit to me"? Didn't Teresa say that she never told her husband anything her brother told her? According to her, only pansies do that. The stuff Teresa would tell Joe though was always her own perception of what was really said or sometimes her twisted view of what happened. I have been a witness to this at times. I guess that is why people say that there are three sides to every story. Everybody has their own perception of what happened. Not everybody interprets things the same way. I saw things said and done wrong on both ends, but since Teresa was my friend, I spent a lot more of my time with her. As a friend, I advised her against some of it, but in the end, it was Teresa's decision. Moving on...

When I said, as a parent, that I wouldn't want my kids to see the fighting that Teresa's kids see, it was because I completely related to their situation. I felt the same way when CJ was around to overhear me and Ashlee fighting. I was very proactive in finding ways to get our situation under control. We worked at it from many angles and went to many outside people, including family and friends for help. Ashlee and I went to therapy together in hopes of resolving our issues or to at least learn how to get our points across constructively. Sometimes you have to learn to pick your battles and when to just disengage and walk away. I'm not claiming it is an easy process, because it's not. It's all trial and error. People in general need to learn how to communicate constructively.

I'm disheartened that Teresa lied to me about her brother texting and apologizing to her. I saw the text message on Joe's phone that day, and I even saw that Teresa had responded. I couldn't believe that Teresa lied right to my face over something so trivial. It baffled me, because it was actually a positive exchange between them. Why wouldn't she want me to know that? I found that disappointing and manipulative.

I wanted field day to be a lot of fun for everybody. I put a lot of time, effort, and thought into organizing this day so that everyone could work together as a team and reconnect. I used to love field day at school, and I still love it as an adult. In case you didn't figure it out, Melissa, Teresa, Kathy, and Joey were together on the same team by design. I didn't want them competing against each other for once. I wanted them to see the strength in working together as a team. I wanted them to forget why they were even fighting. I kept thinking that the more good memories they make, the less they will remember the bad.

It hurt me so badly when Teresa said that she really wasn't having any fun and didn't even want to be there, because she would have rather gone down to the shore. I thought that was so rude, hurtful and ungrateful.

Most of us saw Gia running into the house upset about her team not winning while shouting at everyone calling them cheaters. It was a bit disturbing. Although, I couldn't help but notice Gia was the one cheating at the dunk tank game. LOL! Nobody was seriously being mean to anyone! You can clearly see everyone laughing, teasing, and being playful. We all love Gia. I think Gia is just misguided and maybe a bit hormonal as well. It's typical for a 10 year old to be emotional. Of all people, I think I understand that very well. I went inside after Gia, because I cared about her feelings.

This day was supposed to be about fun and I didn't want Gia feeling upset like that. I went in after her to get her to snap out of it and come back outside to join everyone. I was trying to be funny at first and tried to make her laugh to change her mood, but she told me to go away. I tried to explain that everybody was just being silly and having fun, but she continued to say rude things to me, Caroline, and my friend’s son. I kept calm and I told her that if she wanted her mom, she was outside and she should get up to go get her. I really didn't want her sitting alone in the basement pouting all day with the cameras on her. I didn't want to bother Teresa at first, because she was outside having fun, or so it seemed, filming with her family. I eventually did tell my friend’s son to go out and get Teresa, which is why she eventually came in, at her own leisure, to see what was wrong. In the meantime, I decided to read her the book, Being a Bad Sport by Joy Berry, a Help Me Be Good book series. YES, FOR GODSAKES, ANOTHER BOOK DRAMA! I thought the book might make sense to her, and that it would get her to understand the emotions she was feeling. I thought it might also give her a different way to handle the situation and the feelings she was having. It's good to be competitive, but it's also important to be a good sport. I realized shortly after Gia ran up the stairs to get away from me that I may have overstepped my boundaries as a best friend/honorary aunt. I felt horrible instantly. I apologized many, many times. As familiar as we were with each other, like family, it really wasn't my place to teach Gia a lesson. I still feel horrible about it to this very day. I was surprised at the overwhelming amount of support I got for doing that. Thank you for understanding the situation, however, I learned to never cross that line again. That doesn't take away the fact that Gia was extremely rude and disrespectful to me in my home, and I hope that at some point Teresa had a talk with her about that. From what I am hearing on Twitter, most people would have been a lot more aggressive with her than I was. After I handed out the grand prize to the winning team, which was a giant block of provolone cheese, I read another Help Me Be Good book to the adults on cheating. Fair is fair, and that seemed to satisfy Gia.

One of the few times Teresa ever brought up Ashlee to me in the 10 years I knew her, most of the time only on camera, she told me that she felt sorry for me about what I had to go through with Ashlee. She said that she would never talk about or judge someone else's parenting, because she still had four daughters to raise. Now I clearly see that it was B.S.

When Teresa said in her interview to look at me, because maybe that's why Ashlee is so rebellious and is the way she is and that she felt sorry for Ashlee, I was confused and a little insulted as to what she meant by that. Does she mean that I should have used HER parenting techniques and never have disciplined Ashlee and just allow her run wild like she does with her children? I'm confused. Her children, as adorable as they are, call her a stunad, tell their siblings to bite their mother, and please don't even get me started on Milania's rebellious ways. Yet she wants to call MY child rebellious and put that on me? That was laughable. Buckle up, Teresa. Let's check back with each other in a few years when your children are teenagers. We will compare stories then. Ironically, I was thinking the exact same thing about Gia. I feel sorry for her. Maybe Gia reacts the ways she does because of the way Teresa handles her (or doesn't). Teresa should pay closer attention to the way Gia is already speaking to her parents and other adults at the early age of 10, because I recognize some of that behavior and Teresa may have a long, hard road ahead of her. She still has four girls to raise, so she should be careful what she insinuates about other people’s parenting. Good luck with that.

It's amazing to me that Teresa keeps trying to convince everyone that she is so real and has moved on to a better place, when I know that’s not the case. I think it's odd that she doesn't have the bravery to say it in her blog or social media or anywhere else that would leave a trail to her and her true feelings. She can keep on being the fake Teresa I have figured her out to be, while I will just keep being real and showing my true feelings. I'm not afraid to stand behind what I say publicly and it's the same things I have already said to Teresa's face. Keep knocking on that wood, Teresa. Go ahead, knock yourself out. Maybe one day you will wake up.

I really wish Teresa meant everything that she says. I truly do. I wish she could really be sincere for once. The truth is, she hasn't changed a bit and that is unfortunate, but it does make my decision to stay away so much easier. Ironically, such good, positive things and people have been coming into my life since our friendship ended. I need to keep moving forward. Once this season ends, there is no need to look back.

See you all next week! XOXO!

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