BackStaubing

I'm trying to get back to blogging on time, but I have been really busy lately and I haven't had the head to sit down and write about the drama on the show. I don't mean to disappoint anyone. I'll do my best to put aside the time to get my blog done in a more timely manner. I'm sorry for being tardy.

I will address Danielle in this blog, because I feel it is important for me to clarify the events leading up to this point and how it all really played out. The events that took place in these recent episodes need explaining. I'm not going to write a fake "love and light" blog. This blog is about what was happening at THAT point in time and how we were feeling about it in THAT moment.

I enjoyed seeing my sisters-in-law Cookie and Francesca on the show. I love them. I'd like all of you to see them more. Francesca is really funny and has a huge heart and a huge love of animals. Francesca works for a Vet and rescues animals, so if you ever need an animal rescued, contact her through me or Caroline. She finds great homes for them. Cookie is an amazing cook and is a great person to go to for advice, like Caroline. Both Francesca and Cookie are very down to earth. If our whole family, including the Giudices had our own show, there would be plenty of characters, a lot of laughs, love, and of course, DRAMA (just not the dark, evil kind of drama that is lingering on our show now). Unfortunately crazy drama overshadows our family's most entertaining moments. My husband has five brothers, five sisters, and 18 nieces and nephews. There's always something going on.

I think that I understand what Caroline is going through. Empty nest syndrome is common among women at a certain stage in life. You spend the most part of your adult life raising your kids and focusing so much on your family that sometimes you can lose who YOU are in the everyday shuffle. For years Caroline has put her family first and her own needs aside. Caroline is at a point in her life when she needs to explore her interests, go on fun outings with her friends, and travel. Perhaps she should even "Get a hobby." LOL. She needs to find herself again. Caroline will be alright. She has plenty of support and love. Her kids still are around often. Fortunately or unfortunately for her, so is the rest of this big family. She's not REALLY alone. I think she may have been a little more emotional than usual that day talking to Albert. Perhaps it was due to her monthly overactive hormones. I'm not sure, but I do know that everything during that time always seems more intense than it really is. That is always when I seem to analyze my life. Albert will always be there for her as well. There is a lot of love there between them. They have weathered many storms together in life and will continue to do so together in the future. Albert is not going to retire, but Caroline knows this and has accepted this lifestyle from day one when she agreed to marry him. It's all good.

The furs that Teresa and I wore at the fashion show did not belong to us. They were lent to us to wear for the night. I actually do not own any furs. I doubt I would ever buy one either. It did help that night to cover my fat upper arms. I also borrowed a fur scarf from Posche to wear. I'm sorry if PETA supporters are upset and I understand your viewpoint entirely. I also have to admit that I wear leather belts and eat meat, so I don't want to seem like a hypocrite. I can't stand the thought of animals dying or being treated with cruelty. I can't stand the thought of an animal suffering in any kind of way. I don't even kill bugs for fear they might have a family that will miss them. I feel guilty sometimes for enjoying my steak and sausage, but I make a conscious effort to not think of where it came from and I just can't seem to give it up. I don't know why. I'm sorry. I'm just being honest. Call it ignorance or whatever you want. I must admit though, after reading the book Skinny Bitch, I didn't touch meat for a while. Maybe I should read it again for a refresher. OK, now I've gone way off track. Let's get back to the episode.

For the record, I met Kim D. while shopping in her store on the same day as Danielle, and I have always remained friendly with Kim. I have also always remained a loyal customer at Posche, which is why I was invited to the Posche Fashion Show. All of the people that were invited to the show are Kim's customers. Outside of Posche, before filming this season, Danielle and Kim only hung out together three times. That is hardly enough time to form a "true" friendship and a loyal alliance. According to Kim, she had not heard from Danielle all summer until out of the blue, she came in wanting to pay off her debt she owed to the store and invited her to her celebratory luncheon and asked her to bring her Mother and introduce her to her sister-in-law Kim G. and bring her as well. Kim felt used by Danielle so she decided to use her back to get publicity for her store. I think Danielle misconceived the depth of their friendship.

When Ashley was asked to model at Kim's Posche Fashion Show, I knew that there could be trouble. Ashley was just so excited about participating that my husband and I decided it wouldn't be fair to prevent Ashley from doing something that she would enjoy on account of someone else who could be avoided. Chris and I agreed to allow her to be there, but we both gave her a long talk beforehand on how to avoid potential problems. If provoked we asked Ashley to ignore it no matter how hard her buttons were being pushed. I asked Ashley to come and get me if approached and to NOT respond to anything being said or done to her. I told her to let me handle it and to NOT involve herself in our adult conflicts. I made that very clear, or so I thought. As usual, my advice went in one ear and out the other.

Ashley had been previously provoked in various ways, and at the show she faced continual stares and whispering that had originated from the other side of the room. Ashley had enough and was losing control, which is why she started waving and staring back.

I will admit that it was hard for all of us to avoid seeing each other in the room, especially when we were sitting directly across from each other. I'm not sure whose idea it was to set our tables within eyesight of each other, but it was a very bad idea.

If you review the tape, I think that we handled ourselves very well at first by enjoying the evening for all of its intended purposes. OUR table was having fun with each other and enjoying the whole experience. We were watching the fashion show, talking about it, laughing, clapping, enjoying each other, the food and the night. We were minding our own business. OUR table was not plotting to anger anyone. If you paid attention, it was the opposite intentions on the other side of the room. The whispering and staring from the other table toward us began almost immediately upon their sitting. People in the room kept bringing it to our attention as well. I think Ashley looked so beautiful that night and did a great job on the runway. It was all about having fun. Nothing to be taken so seriously. I just wished Ashley would have left to go home directly after and never engaged in the drama like I had asked her to, but why would she start listening to me now? If anyone was not happy about the way the evening was going, they had a choice to just leave and not let the door hit them on the way out. Although I'm sure if that were the case, SOMEbody would have tried to press charges against the door.

We tolerated the dirty looks and rude comments as long as we could until, one at a time, our table started staring back. There was a whole lot of high school cafeteria action going on in that room at one point. I'm looking at you, looking at me, looking at you, looking at me. Was all of it really necessary? Not really. I was getting so annoyed. Knowing where there is Danielle there is always drama is the reason I told everyone I DIDN'T WANT TO GO!!! It's too late now, but next time I am listening to my gut. I didn't HAVE to be there, I CHOSE to go and ignore certain people. I never intended to "engage" or "suggest" anything to anybody. I wanted to be there for Ashley and I wanted to just have an enjoyable girls night out and have some FUN, F.U.N., not an F'd Up Night as it turned out to be.

I am just going to ASSUME that when that Danielle said "coke whore" as Ashley was getting on the runway that Danielle was referring to HERSELF, since there ARE court documents to prove that is an accurate description of Danielle. Someone at her table must have asked her about her previous job occupations, and she was just answering them honestly. Good for her. She's finally being accountable for at least one thing from her past. I'm assuming this because I just can't believe that a 48-year-old would say that about an 18-year-old girl.

I feel this needs to be addressed once and for all. FACT! It was Danielle's sole decision to put "the book" on TV last year which prompted us all to talk about it on air. Not one of us wanted to discuss the contents of "the book" on the show and STILL, to this day, we are constantly being blamed for it as if it OUR doing. It wasn't. It didn't have to go national by drawing more attention to it, but Danielle wanted it that way. It's a book that had always been circulating around our surrounding towns for years and only came to Dina when some people heard that we were doing a reality show with what they considered a certain shady character. They were trying to warn us who we were associating ourselves with. NOBODY "dug up" anyone's past. In fact, once people saw the show, people from a certain someone's past kept trying to reach out to us through the Internet to warn us and tell us things about her past. There was no researching Danielle except for Googling her different aliases once we saw "the book" because we wanted to know who this person really was that has entered our lives. It's common sense people. How earth would anyone know to research a book mentioning Beverly Merrill when we never even knew that name existed? Makes sense doesn't it? I was also the only one who gave her the respect by confronting her about it face to face when nobody else would, so I could give her the chance to explain things herself but she just looked me in the face and LIED. I didn't know that then, but I DO NOW. There are court documents and people from her past, one who has even passed a credible five hour video taped lie detector test to back it all up. That's how I lost more respect for her. She always told me that if I heard something about her to come to her with it no matter how much I thought it would embarrass or upset her but when I did, she'd LIE looking right into my eyes. It wasn't so much about what she did in her past, for me it was the fact that when I DID confront her about things I'd hear she would lie right to my face about it. I also kept catching her MANY times contradicting herself about many things. Those were a couple of reasons that made me start to pull away from her. I didn't respect her or trust her because of that. I found out about her backStaubing later.

I found it almost humorous that there was a derogatory comment made about my parenting from someone who won the title of "The Most Embarrassing Mother in AMERICA" in Life & Style magazine and earned the title by the mass public as "The Most Hated Housewife." So PLEASE Danielle, don't judge MY parenting when YOURS really isn't all that admirable. I'm raising three kids with three different personalities, and I use the same parenting skills with each one. I believe the way a kid turns out isn't always due to parenting; it is also due to the nature of the individual you're parenting. I know I don't always make the best parenting decisions, but overall I love all my kids as much as a Mother possibly could and I show them and tell them that every day. I do try my best and I always have their best interest in mind. Sometimes I do make mistakes. Who doesn't?

I wanted to point out that it wasn't that I didn't notice that Ashley and Teresa had left the table at the fashion show, but it was the fact that they hadn't returned in a long while. When I saw Danielle and her gang leave the room, I got a little nervous that there could be a run-in with the girls, and THAT is when I ventured out to look for them. Some of you need to quit trying to make it out like I'm oblivious to what's going on around me because I am very perceptive. If YOU were perceptive, you would have noticed that Teresa and Ashley were already outside the room before Danielle left the room. Teresa DID NOT follow Danielle to the bathroom to "start trouble," as it may have first appeared. Teresa was already sitting in that chair before Danielle chose to pass her FIRST to go into the bathroom with her entourage. Maybe Danielle left the room because she noticed Teresa and Ashley weren't at the table and she was hoping to run into them in the hallway or bathroom. I think she was trying to bait Teresa into a confrontation by seeking her out and passing in front of her on the way to and from the bathroom. Danielle knew she had her audience and she could act very coy while subtly trying to push Teresa's buttons. Danielle is very calculating. Teresa decided to stay there in the chair to wait for Danielle to walk by again for her chance to say hello and make small talk just to get the conversation started. She wanted to come to an agreement with Danielle that they would be civil towards one another going forward, even though we don't like each other. Did it work out that way? Not so much.

I always tease Teresa by saying, "Oh TERESA, TERESA, TERESA. You just HAAAD to say hello, didn't you?" LOL! I have a way of making humor out of very uncomfortable situations or circumstances. It's not that I don't realize when It's a serious situation. It's just that when there is really nothing I can do to change it, I choose to find the humor in it all. I guess that is how I cope with it.

I honestly tried to talk Teresa out of saying hello to Danielle but it was too late because by then Danielle started coming around the corner. By the way, her ex-con friend Danny WAS there that night of the fashion show. He was at the bar. I saw him there when I went to use the ladies room by myself, with no entourage. He left right before the drama started. I didn't understand why at the time Teresa felt compelled to say hello, but whatever, I just rolled with it in the moment. I sure as hell didn't want to say hello to Danielle. I didn't even want to look at her. Danielle has a way of bringing out the worst in people. Teresa told me later on that she just attempting to put an end to the nonsense once and for all because it was getting ridiculous. We couldn't even act like adults when we were in the same room together. Teresa was going to attempt to be nice and civil, and explain to Danielle what got Teresa to that point last year and then try to get past it by making Danielle understand so we could all move on from the drama and backstabbing. Teresa doesn't like Danielle and has no desire to be her friend again, but she believed we could at least move forward in our opposite directions peacefully. We were all sick of the Danielle drama and Teresa was hoping to call a truce. Teresa started making small talk with Danielle in hopes of getting a conversation started but when D. was obviously not receptive AT ALL and snapped back with" Don't call me honey," it was clear to Teresa that there was no reasoning or resolving anything with her. D.'s attitude is what set Teresa off and prompted her response, "Is BITCH BETTER?" Oh dear God. I knew it was going to be all downhill from there. It was the "Pay attention, puhlease" moment all over again.

Kim G. was much better this episode. At least she tried to keep the drama down a little, although I wish she had kept her new friend walking right out of that door. Now that I think about it, maybe Kim G. WAS trying to stir the pot a little by bringing D. back. Maybe she was just trying to make good TV. I don't know. Kim has amazing legs though, doesn't she?

Danielle, I have to be perfectly honest with you, I was under the impression that you were your OWN woman. If you really didn't want to talk to Teresa then why did you come back and engage her? "You make your own decisions" Isn't that what you told Teresa? D. tried to provoke Teresa in her own subtle way, hoping to play the victim once again. Danielle knew she had her audience so she pretended to play very coy. D. is a very calculating woman. She enjoys pushing people's buttons. Danielle has a way of enraging people and then she goes into victim mode. It is a pattern and a game that she continually plays with many people. Danielle could have just as easily acted politely back to Teresa, told her she had to get going, and that maybe they could continue the conversation at a later date and left but instead she chose to stand there and engage her negatively. I hate that the night escalated the way it did. It was NOT good, I will tell you that. I really hate reliving it, but it's something I signed on to do and we all must be accountable for our actions. In retrospect, I see how the drama of the night could have been avoided by everyone.

In my opinion, I think it is cowardly for Danielle to hide behind bodyguards. I'm not sure if Danielle is suffering from paranoia, but I know that she has ever been threatened by anyone in MY family. Ashley just asked her to stay away from our family. How Ashley reacted that night, in which next episode will reveal, was a spontaneous, isolated reaction caused in part by the build up of Danielle's provoking and their constant exchange of words. I think Danielle hides behind bodyguards because she knows she's guilty of evil things she has done to us. She has said and done some awful things and told many lies behind our backs and now she just doesn't have the strength to face us alone. She knows we have learned the truth behind many of her lies and it's now embarrassing for her to look us in the face for fear we will confront her with the facts. I think she also use the bodyguards in a calculating way to send a message to other people that we are dangerous people. She acts fearful of us but SHE is the one who hangs around the most shady people and she is the one sending us threats in different forms. I am never a person to start something with anybody, but you better believe that I sure am the type of girl to finish it if I'm challenged. I don't have a problem with confrontation. If you ask me how I am feeling, you KNOW you are going to get the truth. That is something that Danielle never appreciates about me, especially if it wasn't what she wanted to hear. Even when I was honest with her in a non-confrontational way trying to help her as a friend, she still became irate with me. She acted very irrational. One scary and dangerous thing about Danielle is that she lies. She tells SERIOUS lies to try to destroy people and their families and anything or anyone that is important to them. I'd much rather fight someone with the truth. The truth always hurts the most. In the end, all lies are usually revealed.

Tune into next week. I think it's the table flip of last season. It's shameful, on ALL of our parts, so Of COURSE that means that you will love to talk about it. I'm sure we will be seeing it all again on The Soup. Oh boy.