Yolanda Foster: I Felt Tremendous Disappointment

Hi Everyone,

I am so proud and inspired by my girls and their Paris Couture week! It's a surreal emotion to see not one--but two--of your children working in an industry that follows your footsteps, yet one that has changed so much since the early 80s when I started modeling. I could only have dreamed to walk a Chanel show for Karl Lagerfeld, let alone watch my daughters do it 30 years later.
What a dream come true!

On the homefront, I continue to watch them from the sidelines and cheer them on. As I say weekly, with every day that goes by, home feels more like home. I'm not going to lie, the moving process has been exhausting but with the help of my family and close friends, I'm starting to see the light. I might even get a couch delivered this week! Anwar has been a rock, we are in a steady new routine and working toward spring break. I love watching him explore life and take his career opportunities into his own hands, choosing to do what feels right for him. He makes me proud! I consciously cherish every moment I have with him as these are his last years in high school. We're talking about colleges, and as all you moms out there know, big changes are ahead when your littlest one leaves the nest! Note to self: I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

Speaking on the Moulin Rouge party… My first call out is Kyle's line about 20 years married in Beverly Hills being like 100! That line made me smile, because it's true. I haven't gotten there, but I can say as a hopeless romantic, it was always my intention. One thing I will carry for the next hundred years are the good memories that each experience gives us and the hard lessons that later become gifts! Congratulations to Kyle, Mauricio, Lisa and Ken!

I know that over the years we develop bonds with our girlfriends that we should stay loyal to, regardless of what other people have to say. Sometimes it's not easy to navigate the social pressures we face, but if we stick to what we believe, not only is it liberating, it forces you to be the change we wish to see. Change starts with us.

Lisa Rinna's visit…I feel reluctant, because even though it is hard to look back, the truth is that I've let it go. I don't have an ego in this or the energy to hang on to negativity. The short of it is I felt tremendous disappointment in hearing the women continuously cast doubt on my health journey and especially that of my children. It doesn't feel good. But it's real life, and I will only seek to control what I can. The best apology I could hope for is changed behavior, so let's see what the future brings.

I choose to share my journey, because I, like millions of people suffering from invisible disease, need help and understanding. We become victims of criticism, as shown in my own group of friends. I hope to shine light, bring awareness and be a voice for those who can't be heard. Google might provide you with information on Chronic Neurological Lyme disease, but it will never provide you with wisdom--that requires experience.

Heart doctors treat the heart, bone doctors treat the bones, brain doctors treat the brain. Who does one call when it all falls apart at once? Who do you call when your body gets invaded by this silent killer called Lyme disease? Where do you go when you've been suffering, and the medical community tells you your disease does not exist, so your insurance company does not have to pay for your treatments?

I've taken my battle public because we need a change. I'm not afraid of uninformed people being reactive or judgmental of my illness. I am not afraid of nasty and uneducated comments on Instagram and Twitter. They just encourage me to fight harder and make my voice louder. I have chosen to turn a mess into a message and use my platform for this cause. 
Yes, fashion, jewelry, shoes or handbags would be more rewarding for some. Not for me, because I accept the cards life has dealt me, and I understand the higher purpose of my journey.

Every day is a new chance at getting well and finding a cure! Its a full-time job and a mission that requires all that I have. I feel like I operate on a different vibration, though, so it's hard for me to comprehend a lot of the negative thinking around all of this.

The other day I heard a line in the news… It said that where there is fire there is always wind (speaking on recent California fires). Wind is the number one cause of fire. Somehow this line completely resonated with me and gave me a visual of the conversation I saw Lisa provoke about me. So, if we do not produce the wind, we can avoid the fire.

The last thing I will say about tonight's show is that all of us represent such blessed lives. Use celebration time to celebrate! I hope to join all of you very soon!

Much love,

Yo