Lisa V.: At What Point Is It Enough?
Lisa was stunned by Brandi's comments to Yolanda.
Welcome back. Thank you for all your comments on Wetpaint and your tweets. I read, listen, and learn from them. So I hope you have all had a good week. Now in this week's episode, we reconvene with the climax of the mixer party. Kyle was extremely agitated, upset, and reacting to the volatility and giving unnecessary credence to the spiteful remark made about Mauricio. I have told her and chastised her to stop even investing in the jabs Brandi takes at her marriage. They are as irrelevant as she is at this point.
I ignore her nonsensical retort towards me, when I state that I understood, as I had been a recipient of her negativity myself. I pull her towards me like I am comforting a tormented child...reluctant to perpetuate another altercation.
Their relationship is in free fall, spiraling out of control. Had I warned her? No, I was resolute in my attitude that after the fiasco that played out last year, I would not. Let us all learn by our own mistakes, and also I would not want to be accused of being the puppet master and pulling strings. I, in retrospect, would relish the chance to be the master puppeteer and sort this mess out, to pull the strings and tamper with this complicated scenario.
So we move on. This was a complex and poignant episode for us as a family, but when I witness moments like these, as Pandora and I set up the display in Pavilions, not having seen her for a couple of weeks, I try to broach the subject of Max's curiosity about his heritage. Not for one moment did I anticipate Pandora's reaction, her emotion as she struggled to regroup, thrown by the words I had just uttered.
Pandora and Max are as close as any siblings could be, regardless of their genetics. I think that was starkly evident as she lost her composure, embarrassed by the circumstance of her surroundings and fearing that maybe the threat of another family coming into Max's life would supersede the love he had for us.
I was insensitive to be so naive, thinking she would be logical and understand his thirst for knowledge of his past, because as many of us know, when love and matters of the heart are concerned, logic takes a back seat.
She, as long as she can remember, has had her little brother, who tormented her, whom she nurtured one moment and fought with the next, her brother that made our jigsaw complete. She had been privy to his struggles and his success, her always hailing him as the greatest guitar player she knew, a relationship entwined with pride, exasperation, and all the other multi-faceted emotions that pervades sibling relationships.
But above all, he is our son and her brother, and there is nothing that can jeopardize that. I think she has a better understanding of that after we spoke.
So when Max arrives, I see a hint of anxiety at his reluctance to view the results alone. I wondered if this is where the path ends. Will this information suffice? I hope so, or is it a segue to another situation he would like to explore? We will see, but I am there every step of the way.
It was a hurtful statement which would've provoked a reaction I would not have been proud of, had it been leveled at my daughter.”
Viewing Brandi and Yolanda at yoga was an interesting spectacle. My mouth dropped open as Yolanda remonstrates Brandi for her lack of control in regard to her drinking habits, first after having been reprimanded for the same thing last year, as I attempted to "mother" her. The most shocking statement of all was the analogy that Bella, little 17-year-old Bella, whom I have known for many years and had recently made an unfortunate mistake with her DUI, was used as a parallel to Brandi's ongoing situation and one that she is in denial of. To me, that was astounding. There are no rumors of Bella being an alcoholic, of that I am sure. It was a hurtful statement which would've provoked a reaction I would not have been proud of, had it been leveled at my daughter.
That singularly was a defining moment for me, a bitter comparison, a defensive move in attempt to shift the focus from her problem onto that of a young woman who has paid a price and has learnt from her mistake. I ask myself as Yolanda states that she is lashing out, hitting below the belt, at what point is it enough? At what point do you evaluate the pros and cons of your relationship? At what point, especially when it comes at your daughter's expense, can you say enough? Get the f--- out of my house and understand there are boundaries and consequences in a friendship that are essential to a deep, meaningful relationship. I would've presumed that hit an all-time low, but then Brandi continues with another careless foolish remark--her wish to transport Kyle to Liberia was a crude example of why, at the onset of the show she reflected on why people aren't amused at her observations. Because the graphic images firmly etched in my mind of people bleeding from their gut, the 10,000 people that are victims of this insidious disease, and the ripple effect as the world deals with this crisis...that is all the reminder we need.
I will sign off now, perplexed as I tried to analyze these dynamics with no resolution. I bid you a good week ahead...
As always, be the best you can be...
Take from this what you may...
Love, Lisa
