Kim: Don't Mistake My Sadness for Weakness

Today’s episode started exactly where we left off, back at Eileen’s poker night. I remember just wanting to leave so badly that I just kept on walking and didn’t even see the physical altercation between Brandi and Kyle. I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I mean one is my sister and one is my friend. I wanted to make it right, so I tried to speak to Kyle, but there was so much chaos between her and Brandi. Then the other girls joined in and at that point, I was frustrated and honestly wasn’t feeling well. I just wanted everyone to let me go home! This drama may have been about me at first, but it definitely ended up being about those two and whatever residual animosity they had towards one another from the past.

On the following day, my pain got even worse, so I spent the whole day getting tests done at the doctor’s. Next evening, I was admitted to the hospital. In my last blog post, I mentioned that I had been struggling with bronchitis and pneumonia for weeks. Well, the doctor said I had a fractured rib, ruptured disc, and hiatal hernia, which was caused by the increased pressure from coughing. No wonder I was in so much pain before poker night! I was in the hospital for nine days. But I'm happy to announce that I’m currently healthy and well!
Even though my family and I are going through some tough times right now, I feel stronger than ever because I need to and want to be there for Monty, my daughters, and son. All you moms out there know, we don’t get days off! Although it seems like I have a lot going on, that’s exactly what I love about my life! Planning my daughter’s wedding is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever done. I can’t believe my babies are all grown up, and I could not be more proud. Taking care of Monty has been bittersweet--it’s so painful to see my best friend slipping away, but at the same time, our relationship is stronger than ever. We’re treasuring every moment we have together. Don’t mistake my sadness for weakness. If I were not strong in my sobriety today, I could never do the things I’m doing. Thank you to those who have shared their kind words and support!
Speaking of family, my favorite part of the episode was seeing Yolanda with her son. Oh my goodness, I really related to them, because I’m going through the same thing with my son, Chad. Family dynamics change, and it does get lonely for both Chad and me now that our girls have left the nest. But this is also a special bonding time for us--yes, he’s totally going to have to hang out with his mom more, which both of us don't seem to mind at all! 
XO Kim