Worst Lawsuit Ever? Woman Sues Candy Maker Because She Didn’t Know Jelly Beans Contained Sugar

We have a real love/hate relationship with frivolous lawsuits in this country. The love comes, mostly, from insane people who spend their days looking for bizarre reasons to sue companies, other people, and even higher powers over perceived injustices—some real, some out-of-this-world crazy. The hate comes from everyone else who has to hear about them and shake their first at the sky and think WHAT. IS. HAPPENING.

We’ve covered a full lineup of food-related lawsuits in the past, ranging from under-filled chip bags (possibly real) to the more recent empty-candy-box accusations (subjectively dumb), but the crown for the most “You have GOT to be f***ing kidding me” lawsuit is about to pass to a woman in California.

Food & Wine reports that Jessica Gomez of San Bernadino has filed a lawsuit against Jelly Belly, the maker of some of the best and worst jelly beans on the market, claiming that (hold on to your chair) “‘fancy phrasing’ on the packaging led her to believe she was purchasing a sugar-free product.”

One more time: a woman in California is suing a jelly bean maker, because she didn't realize jelly beans, a product with the main ingredients of sugar, corn syrup, and starch, contained sugar.

According to the lawsuit, Gomez purchased Jelly Belly Sport Beans (something we didn’t know existed until now), a product marketed as an exercise supplement. The ingredients for Jelly Belly Sport Beans do not include "sugar;" however, they do include “evaporated cane juice” which is the aforementioned "fancy phrasing" Gomez takes issue with. Jelly Belly, on the other hand, has basically dismissed the lawsuit as completely insane (our words), a real waste of time (our words), and so, so, so dumb (again, our words.)

Lawyers for the company point out that despite any confusion around the ingredient list, the nutrition label of the product clearly lists the grams of sugar included in the product. (19 grams of sugar per package, apparently). Jelly Belly also questions that the ingredients are misleading, arguing that the “Plaintiff does not explain why an athlete—or anyone—would be surprised to find sugar in a product described as 'Jelly Beans’.” Oy vey.

In conclusion, let’s get a couple things straight: Jelly beans are made of sugar. Jelly beans, even sporty ones, should not be confused for a health snack. The name Jelly Belly LITERALLY describes the consequences of eating too many jelly beans.

We’ve got nothing else to say.