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Have the Last Splash With These Hilarious Oversized Pool Floats
If obnoxiously large inflatable pool floats are good enough for Instagram, then they sure as hell are good enough for you.
It’s not officially summer until you’ve posed on an obnoxiously large pool float. (We’re looking at you, Instagram “influencers.”) To get ready for Memorial Day weekend—prime pool time—we’ve collected the most hilariously awesome, Instagrammable pool floats money can buy.
And if you don’t have an Olympic-sized pool in the Hamptons at your disposal? Well, there’s always an inflatable kiddie pool…but that's another story for another day. See you at the pool, friends.
1. Giant Swan Ride-On
We have to start with an icon. The giant swan is the classic float you've seen in all the Instas—beautiful celebs draped over their oversized swan, a beacon of beauty and power. And while we might look more like a fish gasping for breath than a swan princess, we still love this float nonetheless.
2. Inflatable Pineapple Cooler
Looking this cool is thirsty work, my friend. Thankfully BBB sells a floating vinyl cooler for your bottles of rosé and 'rita cans. Just don’t forget the ice!
BUY FROM: Bed, Bath, and Beyond, $24.99
3. Rose Gold Flamingo
We’ve found the chic companion to your classic white swan floatation device in the form of this trendy rose gold beauty. It supports up to 264 pounds, so you and your matching glass of rosé can take a spin around the pool in style.
4. Avocado Pool Float
Avocados are so effing trendy that they're even penetrating our pools! (Still not a good enough reason to use the word “penetrate.”) The durable vinyl float has a hole where the pit should be, so slip on in for easy floating in the pool of your Instagram dreams.
BUY FROM: Urban Outfitters, $32
5. Giant Margarita Pool Float
Pool parties and drinking go together like… pool parties and drinking! Take it up a level with a margarita-shaped floatie. (Unfortunately, tequila not included not included.) The most hilariously amazing part? Because this is for sale at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, you can add this to your wedding registry. Cheers, indeed!
BUY FROM: Bed, Bath, and Beyond, $29.99
6. Dreamy Deuce Poop Emoji Pool Float
At 5.5 feet, this emoji-shaped pool float is as tall as the average woman. It's the shit—literally! And if you get overly excited about a pool float in the shape of your most-used emoji, it comes with an emergency patch kit. Phew! Or… P. U.?
7. Bald Eagle Pool Raft
Because nothing screams "America!" like a nearly 7-foot bald eagle toy for your swimming pool. Jokes aside, the raft is made with thick, durable vinyl (it’s nearly impenetrable!), so when you cannonball into the pool, you don’t need to worry about popping your float. The best part? This bird is big enough for two, so you and your pal can sing God Bless the U.S.A. in perfect pool harmony.
8. Donut Pool Float
Homer Simpson voice: Mmmm, donuts.
My voice: Oooooh, donut-shaped pool float.
BUY FROM: Urban Outfitters, $26
9. Hot Dog Joust Pool Game
Our favorite BBQ food just became our favorite pool float. Even better, this doubles as a flotation device and a little bit of entertainment in the form of jousting. The best part? No horses here! You'll have to ride an inflatable hot dog and try to whack your partner with a bottle of ketchup or mustard. Pick your poison.
BUY FROM: Urban Outfitters, $35
10. Have the Last Splash Pool Float
Didn’t you know? Cactuses are having a moment, so don’t get left behind while mini succulents and prickly saguaros are popping up all over social media. (And while we personally love the cactus, this float comes in four other "colors" like a watermelon, banana, pineapple, and lobster.)
11. Rubber Duckie Pool Float
Rubber duckie, you’re the one! You make pool time lots of fun! This splurge is worth it just for the jaw-dropping reactions of your friends alone. Warning: This giant rubber duck is 6-feet tall, so if you’re working with a kiddie pool, you might want to consider actual rubber duckies and leave this giant to the Olympic-sized pools.
BUY FROM: Bed Bath, and Beyond, $299.99
12. Inflatable Pegasus Pool Float
Be the goddess that you are while riding around on your Pegasus-shaped float. The winged stallion won’t get you around the pool faster than your average float, but you’ll look freaking amazing while doing so.
13. Popcorn Pool Float
Are you catching on to our food-shaped pool float theme? We didn’t work our asses off for a beach body to avoid food altogether! This low-cal pool float is the perfect companion to your hot dogs and burgers. Don’t forget the extra butter.
BUY FROM: Bed, Bath, and Beyond, $29.99
14. Inflatable Champagne Bottle Pool Float
Our motto for the summer? Pop bottles and ride bottles. The vinyl float is perfect for a statement piece, less for its function, but you’re just getting this for the pics, right?
15. Bacon Pool Raft
Bacon. Enough said. Wrong! Not enough said! At 7.5 feet, this is one of the largest floats on the list. The bacon-y goodness will tower over you on land and help you stay afloat on the water. And if you want the whole buffet, don’t forget the fried egg float, too.
16. Gigantic Cockroach Raft
New Yorkers, beware. You probably avoid cockroaches like, well, cockroaches, so this might not be for your Hamptons house. But for everyone else, bring this insect-shaped floating device for the screams and the laughs at your next local pool party.
17. Intex Inflat-A-Bull
This inflatable bull, which got a big boost when a certain celebrity rode it in her pool this spring, will keep you afloat and keep you entertained. Have your pals pull on the sides of the float as you try to say, err, afloat! Or at least stay on top. You’ll be entertained for a least a few minutes… or until you get that perfect Boomerang.
18. Swimline Pool Pizza Slice Pool Float
And finally, pizza. Each slice is 6-feet in length, thanks to the crust, offers the perfect head rest for a mid-swimming snooze. (Heads up! This price is by the slice, so if you want the whole pie, make sure you buy the set of eight...we know, most expensive pizza ever!)
